五年级英文小笑话集锦阅读

英文小笑话集锦         它咬人吗 Does He BiteReggie:We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?
Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?
Reggie: That's what I want to find out.里基：我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一会吗？
罗恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人吗？
里基：这正是我想要查明的。        两块蛋糕 Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly----take this piece and cut it two!汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！        不算太坏 Not too BadDid you sell any of your paintings at the art show?""No, but I am encouraged," he replied. "Somebody stole one."“你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗？”“没有，但我还是受到了鼓励，”他回答说，“有人偷走了一幅。”        A Silly Father 傻爸爸Mr. White was watching TV when his eight-year-old son came into the room. He cried, Father, my grandpa just now slapped me in the face. Hearing that, Mr. White became very
angry. And then he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said, You beat my son and I dare to beat yours.怀特先生在房间里看电视，他八岁的儿子走进来哭着说：爸爸，刚才爷爷打了我一耳光。怀特先生听了非常生气，突然，他重重地扇了自己一耳光，说：你打我儿子，我也敢打你儿子。        让座 To Give Up the SeatLittle Johnny says Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.Well, you've done the right thing, says Mommy。But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap.小约翰告诉妈妈：早上我和爸爸坐公车时，他让我给一位女士让座。好，你做得对。妈妈说。但是，妈妈，我那时正坐在爸爸的大腿上。        别太自私 Don't be selfishA mother is admonishing her son._Now, John, don't be selfish. Let your little brother share the bicycle with you._But Mother, I do. I ride it down the hill, and he rides it up the hill.一位母亲在劝告她的儿子。"听着，约翰，别太自私，让你的弟弟和你共用一辆自行车。" "妈妈，我是让他。我先骑下坡，他再骑上坡。"        A Good Boy 好孩Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly.
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
"She is the one who sells the candy."
“她是个卖糖果的。”        我的狗不识字Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”        Marry Him 嫁给他Jane loved Tony , but she worried about all the money he squandered when they went out together. How can I stop Tony spending so much money on me? She asked her mother.Marry him!简很爱托尼，但是当他们一起出去的时候，托尼总是大手大脚地花钱，这使简感到很不安。我怎样才能不让托尼在我身上花那么多钱呢？她问自已的母亲。嫁给他！        Much Worse 那就更糟Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。
         The first timePatient: I'm so frightened, this is my first operation.Surgeon: I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too.病人：我很害怕，这是我第一次动手术。外科医生：我完全理解你的心情。这也是我第一次动手术。        Money and friend A: Which do you find more important, money or friends?
 B: Friends, of course.A: Why?B: I can always borrow money from friends.甲：你认为钱和朋友哪一个更重要？乙：当然是朋友。甲：为什么？乙：我总可以从朋友那儿借到钱。        You are too late.你太晚了On the bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket. 
"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. My wife did it before you." 

在公共汽车上一人发现一个小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里。
“对不起，”他对小偷说，“你太晚了，我妻子在你之前就做过同样的事情了。”