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技巧09 如何衔接连贯-高一英语读后续写基础技巧与整体演练
展开这是一份技巧09 如何衔接连贯-高一英语读后续写基础技巧与整体演练,共21页。试卷主要包含了照应,替代和省略,连接词,词汇衔接等内容,欢迎下载使用。
高考英语作文的评分标准强调文章语言的“连贯性”和“复杂性”。高考英语作文最高一档的给分范围和要求:“覆盖所有的内容要点;应用了较多的语法结构和词汇;语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误,但为尽力使用复杂结构或较高级词汇所致;具备较强的语言运用能力;能有效地使用语句问的连接成分,使全文结构紧凑”。显然,考生要得高分,除了文章要点全、语法正、表达准、结构整、逻辑顺、卷面洁外,考生还得掌握句型与词语的运用及行文(过渡承启)技巧,以增强语言的表达力和文章的逻辑性,提高文章档次。
语篇结构的“连贯性”在语言表达中起着非常重要的作用。“连贯性”主要是就句子之间的衔接和文章段落的过渡而言的。它要求段落中句与句之间、全文段落与段落之间的组织与安排以一种明晰的、合乎逻辑的顺序进行,做到条理清楚、层次分明。这样的篇章结构才能让评卷老师迅速而准确地捕捉文章信息。反之,叙述顺序混乱、前言不搭后语的文章会因“缺乏可读性”而被判为较低的得分档次。因此,英语读后续写中,考生就必然要关注促进语篇连贯的衔接方式的使用。
读后续写常用语篇衔接手段分析
1.照应
照应指用代词等语法手段来表示语义关系,即在语篇中某个名词或概念第二次或重复出现时应使用恰当的代词或其他成分替代它。根据韩礼德和哈桑的观点,英语中的照应主要分为3 类:人称照应、指示照应、比较照应。
(1)人称照应:人称照应是通过人称代词(如I、yu、he、she、they、him、her、them 等)、所属限定词(如yur、his、her、their等)和所属代词(如mine、his、hers、theirs 等)来实现的。
(2)指示照应:用于指示照应的词也可以分为3 类:名词性指示词:this、that、these、thse;定冠词the;副词性指示词:her,their、nw、then。
(3)比较照应: 比较照应指使用一些有比较意义的形容词或副词的比较级表达连贯的语义(如same、as、s、equal、such、similarly、differently、ther、therwise、likewise等表示的照应关系)。
2.替代和省略
(1)替代:替代是用其他词代替上文的提及的内容,这样可以避免重复,达到语言凝练,语句连贯的目的。替代有名词性替代(如ne、nes、sme 等)、动词性替代(如d、des、did、ding、dne 等)和从句性替代(如s、nt 等)。
(2)省略:省略的作用同替代相似,省略可以使上下语义联系紧密,强调作者要表达的中心意思。省略大致分为3类:名词性省略、动词性省略、分句性省略。
3.连接词
连接词指表示能把两个或多个短句衔接起来的表达一定逻辑关系的词。韩礼德(1976)把它们表示的关系分为4 大类:增补(如and、als、t、furthermre等)、转折或对比(如but、yet、still、nevertheless、thugh、while、hwever等)、原因或结果(如because、fr、as、since等)和时间(如first、secnd、third等)。
4.词汇衔接
词汇衔接指通过词的重复、同义、反义、上下义、互补、整体与部分等关系来使语篇语义连贯。
表1:高考英语读后续写中的衔接手段举例
实现读后续写语篇衔接与连贯策略
一、整体审视语篇,确定话题主题
文章语篇的连贯是以内容的合理布局为前提的。因此,要想写出一篇高分作文,审题是关键的一步,
一般坚持以下几个步骤:
(1)审读情景材料:即对试题所提供的“情景” (包括目的、对象、时间、地点、内容等)及其“形式” (一般为图画、图表、提纲等)予以全面的了解,同时不可忽视最后提供的“注意”。
(2)提取主题思想:在审题的同时,要注意从所给材料中提炼出一个主题,即作文的中心。它是全文成败的关键所在,因
为“评分说明”明确指出: “对紧扣主题的适当发挥不予扣分”。一般来讲,文章的中心不超出高中生学习和日常生活中的所见所闻。
(3)进行信息取舍:确定主题之后,就要依据所需文体(多为应用文、记叙文或说明文),围绕中心对所获取的信息进行筛选,以突出重点。
(4)列举表述要点:这是评分标准规定的最主要标准,即是否“覆盖了所有内容要点”。动笔写作之前,最好在草稿纸上列出要点,以免因时间紧等原因而遗漏。
(5)确定主题句:段落通常由一个表示段落中心思想的主题句和一些用来说明、描写、论证该主题的发展句构成。段落的主题句非常重要,对段落的各句起到提纲挈领的作用。一般情况下,主题旬的位置都在段落的开头,清楚明了地告诉读者该段落将要陈述的内容。为了便于展开下文,主题句一般要具备以下两个特点:
①内容要明确具体,具有特定性和单一性,切忌笼统。比较:
a. Learning English is imprtant.
Learning English is imprtant fr middle schl students.
b. Tm is a gd student.
Tm is a hard-wrking student.
上述例句中的第二句要比第一句具体、明确得多。
②语言要简洁,开门见山。如下面是题为“Hnesty(谈诚实)”一文中的开头:
Hnesty is ne f the best virtues. An hnest man is always trusted and respected. On the cntrary, ne wh tells lies is regarded as a “liar”, and is lked dwn upn by hnest peple.
二、拓展主题语句,注意语篇连贯
主题句仅仅是提出基本观点,而要使评卷老师理解你的观点,就必须展开主题,就要考虑如何组织安排语句,也就是说,文章词与词、句与句之间必须衔接密切,具有连贯性。因此,文章语句和段落就要进行适当排序,并要根据所表达的具体内容选择适当的连接方式,常用的方法有以下几种:
巧用过渡词语,理顺句子逻辑关系。为了使文章在整体上结构严密,浑然一体,增强文章的说服力和感染力,保证段落或文章的连贯,考生应该在句子与句子之间,甚至段落与段落之间,恰当地使用一些过渡性词语,使文意表达清晰、流畅。过渡连接词按语义划分为以下最常见的几种类型:(见下表)
表2:过渡衔接词举例
例如:
The rm was disgusting. By the far windw was a trash can piled high with crumpled papers. In the middle f the rm was a rund size bed with rtting fruits. The path between the bed and the drway, where 1 was standing, was full f dirty clthes and ld newspapers. (通过选择参照物,然后巧妙运用表示空间顺序的连接词,给读者一个清楚的空间观念。用准确的方位词说明空间的具体位置,就仿佛给了阅卷老师一幅空间布置图或导游图。)
(2)使用平行结构,增强语感节奏和顺畅度。平行结构的使用是一种修辞手法,其中既有词汇的重复,又有纯粹的语法结构的重复。重复使用相同的结构,不仅能使句子或段落节奏匀称,还可以起到强调或承上启下的作用,从而引起评卷老师的注意。
词的重复是常用的连接手法,它可强调你所要表达的意思,也必然让人把眼前的句子与前面的句子联
系起来,如同用一根线将整个段落贯穿成一个整体,从而增强句子的语感节奏,使句与句之间的衔接更加
紧密、顺畅。例如:
a.I lve life; I lve nature; and I lve peace.
b. I am a by f 17 and I am studying at high schl nw. I am gd at English and I can talk with freign turists in English freely.
上述例子使用的是词汇的重复,下面的段落则通过使用相同的语法结构保证了文章的连贯与流畅。
a.If I have the hnr t be chsen as a vlunteer, besides the abve, I will wrk hard and creatively, but never be lazy. I will fllw the law and discipline, but never break them. I will take the pprtunity t make fiends with the athletes and visitrs, and help them make the 2008 Olympic Games a great success.
b. My mther has passed alng t me certain rules fr getting alng with thers. Dn’t argue with parents; they will think yu dn’t lve them. Dn’t argue with children; they will think themselves victimized. Dn’t argue with spuses; they will think yu are a tiresme mate. Dn’t argue with strangers; they will think yu are nt friendly. My mther’s rules, in fact, can be summed up in tw wrds. Dn’t argue.
(3)灵活运用代词,避免成分冗余。除了过渡性词语外,省略、替代和所指等技巧同样可以连句成段,避免罗嗦和重复,以保持段落的连贯性。名词或代词是很重要的关系指引词,它们不仅能指明句子内部某些词之问的关系,而且能沟通和建立句子和句子之间意义上的联系,从而使段落中前后句子的意义逻辑地、有条理地联系起来,起到承上启下的作用。例如:
a.Hwever, the number f students wh enjy reading ppular science articles dubles that f thse wh pre-reading articles abut learning methds. (句中使用代词that代替the number, thse代替students, 既避免了重复和单调,又显得简洁明了,过渡自然。)
b.While surfing the Internet, I happened t see yur ntice frm which I knew yu were eager t have a Chinese friend. (句中关系代词which引导的非限制性定语使得主从句意义连贯。)试比较:While surfing the Internet, I happened t see yur ntice. Frm the ntice I knew yu were eager t have a Chinese friend.
(4)巧用同义反义词,文章连贯中见文采。同义词与反义词用得好,可以避免出现单词重复,避免文章内容单调。文章在连贯的同时还能适当增加文采,给人耳目一新的感觉。例如:
I like music, especially classical music. I am als interested in phtgraphy because it allws me t recrd the beautiful mments in my life. In fact, I like meeting peple and enjy talking with them. Believing we all need help frm each ther, I appreciate friend’s help and I am willing t help anyne in need.
(5)巧用分词短语或独立结构。简化句子结构可以增强表达效果。巧妙利用分词短语或独立主格结构能使句子化繁为简,把复合句变为简单句;恰当使用独立成分可以使句子的表达形式丰富多样,从而起到增强语言表达效果的作用。它们各有特点:分词要坚持逻辑主语一致原则,而独立主格结构要坚持主语不一致原则;独立成分为约定成俗的固定形式,不受逻辑主语限制。如:Judging frm…, Frankly speaking (T be frank)等。试看下列句子:
(1)Cmpared with ther teachers, Mr. Mre pays mre attentin t his way f teaching. (分词短语)
(2)Weather permitting, we are ging t visit yu tmrrw. =If weather permits we are ging t visit yu tmrrw. (独立主格结构)
试比较以下两个例句:
(原句)The driver escaped; he left the ld man lying n the rad.
(修正句)The driver escaped, leaving the ld man lying n the rad. (分词短语)
(6)使用同位语。避免重复,明晰句意。同位语的应用不仅能避免重复,还可以使文章表述自然、流畅,起到很好的连接作用。例如:
Als we can bth write and talk t each 0theT n the Skype, a prgram that can carry sunds as well as wrds.
I am Wangshan, a girl f sixteen, presently attending Beijing Yangguang Middle schl.
(7)使用过渡句,自然衔接句子和段落。过渡句在句子与句子、段落与段落之间起到承上启下的作用,使句子或段落之间的衔接自然、连贯,逻辑合理,结构严谨,故极为重要。例如:
The summer hliday is cming. Our class have had a discussin abut what t d during the
hliday…Sme are in favr f staying at hme…
Hwever, thers prefer t g ut fr traveling since it can increase their knwledge and braden their hrizns. But they will lse the chance f getting t knw the utside wrld.
三、文末阐释结论,确保首尾呼应
文章结尾的作用是概括全文内容,进一步强调或肯定文章的中心思想,使文章意义表达得更加深刻,
也使文章首尾呼应,结构完整,连贯自然。用于结论段的常用语有:frm this pint f view(从这个观点来看) /in a wrd(总而言之)/in cnclusin(综上所述) /Thus, it can be cncluded that…(因此,我们可以得知...)
等。例如:
In a wrd, t read the riginal wrk is better than t see the film based n it.
Obviusly, we can draw the cnclusin that gd manners arise frm pliteness and respect fr thers.
综上所述,语言的连贯性主要体现在句与句、段与段之间。句与句之间要前后呼应,形成句句相连,环环相扣,读起来一气呵成;同样,段与段之间也要过渡自然,不可各自独立使文章失去整体性。语言连
贯性是评价一篇文章优劣的标准之一。缺乏连贯性,叙述顺序混乱,前言不搭后语的文章会因“缺乏可读
性“而被判为较低的得分档次。只有有效地使用语句间的连接成分,使全文结构紧凑,语篇连贯性强的文
章才能得到高分档次。
1.阅读下面的材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Nila sat alne n the bus. Her lder sister, Lexi, was ne seat ahead, acting as if this was the best day ever. But fr Nila, it was the wrst. It was the last day f swimming lessns. Test Day.
“If I pass my test, I can sign up fr Junir Lifeguarding ver the summer,” Nila heard Lexi telling her friend Jess. “Yu’re the best swimmer in the class,” Jess said. “There’s just n way yu wuldn’t pass.” Maybe she culd talk t Lexi abut the test, wh passed Level 4 several summers ag.
“I thught sisters were suppsed t help each ther actively,” Nila whispered t the windw. An hur later, she held the edge f the pl, shaking. “Fr the last part f the test, yu’ll all be swimming the width f the pl,” the instructr, Nate, tld the class. “Can we swim in the shallw end?” Nila asked. “Npe,” Nate said cheerfully. “T pass Level 4, it has t be the deep end.”
Nila was nervus. She didn’t knw if she culd swim all the way acrss withut tuching the bttm. “I’ll be watching frm the ther side,” Nate said. “Ready?” N! Nila thught. But Nate put the whistle t his lips and blew. Nila tk a deep breath and pushed ff. Lexi mved up and dwn, feeling light. She cmpleted smthly and passed Level 7! A kid frm her class bumped int her, but she just smiled at him. She liked everyne right nw. Nila, t–even thugh she’d been such a pest earlier. Where was she, anyway?
After a minute, Lexi sptted her sister crssing the pl. Nila was way behind the thers. As Nila neared the middle f the pl, she stpped. “Keep ging,” Lexi called. “Yu can d it!” When Nila fund ut her psitin, her heart sank. Only halfway acrss! Sme kids in her class were already at the wall, playing and talking. Nate was bending ver t talk t ne f the kids. He didn’t see her. Better keep ging, she thught. But she was tired. Lexi kept her eyes n her sister’s slw prgress.
注意:
1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1:
As Lexi watched, Nila’s head dipped briefly underwater befre it resurfaced.
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Paragraph 2:
Just then, Nila felt smene’s arms grabbing her frm behind.
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2.阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。
When I was abut six years ld, my family and I went t Disneyland ne weekend and had a wnderful day full f excitement. Little did I knw that the real excitement wasn’t t begin until that night.
While we watched the firewrks, I began t get an urge t g t the restrm, but I didn’t want t miss the shw. I verheard my sister Isabel talking t my mm, and I gt clser t them t hear what they were talking abut.
“Mm, I’m ging t the bathrm with Lizette, kay?” said Isabel.
“Okay,” my mm replied, “but stay tgether. I dn’t want any f yu getting lst. ”
The secnd I saw my sisters leaving, I didn’t think twice befre running after them—withut telling my parents. As I fllwed them thrugh the huge crwd f peple, I started t lse sight f them. I began t panic as I scanned the crwd fr them. Crazy thughts ran thrugh my head like “What if I never see my family again?”
I gave up trying t find my sisters and tried t get back t my family, but I was cmpletely mixed up. After searching fr what seemed like frever, I culdn’t hld back my tears, and I started crying like I had never cried befre.
“Mmmy!” I cried ut. But everyne arund me was t caught up by the firewrks t pay any attentin t me.
I tried t stp the scary thughts that were ging thrugh my head and started running as fast as I I was ging crazy. I’m nly six, and I’ve gtten lst. “What have I dne? Hw culd I have been s dumb t run ff withut telling anyne?” I thught.
With my face wet frm tears, I kept running, pulling at peple’s pants and crying, “Mmmy!” I was hping, wishing, that ne f these adults wuld be ne f my parents.
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Luckily, I felt a pat n my shulder and a gentle vice came, “Are yu lst?”
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Finally, thrugh the crwd f peple, I recgnized a face.
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3.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Andy rde slwly n his way t schl, daydreaming abut the fishing trip that his father had prmised him. He was s busy dreaming abut all the fish he wuld catch that he was unaware f everything else arund him.
He rde alng until a strange sund drew him t the present. He came t a stp and lked curiusly up t the sky. What he saw shcked and terrified him. A huge swarm (一大群) f bees filled the sky like a black clud and they seemed t be heading angrily twards him.
With n time t waste, Andy sped ff in the ppsite directin, riding with great speed but withut knwing hw t escape the swarm. With a rapidly beating heart, he sped dwn the rugh rad. As the bees came clser, his panic increased. Andy knew that he was sensitive t bee stings (蜇). The last sting had landed him in hspital and that was nly ne bee sting! He had been frced t lie in bed fr tw whle days. Suddenly, his father’s wrds came t him. “When yu are in a tight situatin, dn’t panic. Use yur brain and think yur way ut f it.”
On a nearby hill, he culd see smke waving slwly skywards frm the chimney f the Nelsn’s hme. “Bees dn’t like smke,” he thught. “They culdn’t get int the huse.” Andy raced twards the Nelsn’s huse, but the bees were gaining grund. Andy knew he culd nt reach the huse in time. He estimated that the bees wuld catch up with him sn. But he tried his best t keep calm s that he culd cme up with an idea t escape frm the dangerus situatin. Suddenly, ut f the crner f his eyes, he sptted a small dam which was ften used by Mr. Nelsn t irrigate his vegetable garden.
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Withut hesitatin, Andy jumped ff his bike and dived int the cl water.
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In n time, his mther appeared in frnt f him.
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4.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
One night, Ryder saw his mther crying and learned she culd n lnger affrd her last chemtherapy (化疗) treatment. He brke his piggy bank and ffered her all his savings. Althugh it tuched Annie’s heart, she tld him it wasn’t enugh. Ryder was s disappinted and hurried t the washrm t cry alne. It hurt him terribly t see his mther, wh had lng hair, and was nw bald (秃头的) .
In an attempt t emtinally supprt her, Ryder brught an electric shaver and shaved his head. “Oh my Gd, Ryder!” Annie cried after seeing him. She was mved by what her sn had dne by sacrificing his hair. “Mm, I am with yu in this. And yu are nt alne,” Ryder cried alng, knwing little he wuld be laughed at by his best friends the next day.
A schl fair had been rganized n the playgrund, and many peple, including parents, were gathering arund the stalls (摊位). “Hey, lk, smene in ur class has lst all his hair!” Ryder’s friends laughed when he arrived.
“I gt t carry n,” said Ryder, shyly cvering his head in a hat. He was carrying tw bags stuffed with sme f his favrite tys, bks, and recycled craft items he intended t sell at the fair.
As time passed, things were quickly getting sld in all the ther stalls except Ryder’s. He did nt find time t put up a fancy display r banner (横幅) t attract buyers. But he was determined t make a sale fr his mther. S he tk ut a pen and a giant piece f paper and decided t create a sign that read: Help My Mm Fight Cancer.
“Please help me. I shaved my head t supprt my mther. But all are making fun f me withut understanding me. And I have t sell these items and help her with sme mney. Please dn’t let me dwn,” he shuted. The fair was abut t end, and frtunately Ryder had managed t successfully sell mst f his items.
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
He was abut t leave when his three friends surrunded him.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
“Ryder, please take this as well,” he heard a parent calling him.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
5.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Sme years ag, a ship headed fr China. All the passengers barded the ship, including an fficer, his wife, their nly child—a little by five years ld, and a large Newfundland dg called Bbby. Everybdy in the ship liked Bbby, he was s gd - tempered and playful, but the by was the dg’s cnstant playmate. He was a happy little guy, and the tw are s fnd f each ther.
One evening while the little by and the dg were playing tgether, the ship shk suddenly, and splash (扑通一声) went the child int the sea!
A cry was raised, “A hand ver! A hand ver!” and the brave dg jumped ver the side f the ship, and swam twards the by.
The little by’s father, half crazy, jumped with thers int a small bat; but it was t dark t see far befre them. All gave the child up fr lst.
At last they heard a splash n the left side f the ship. “Pull n, quick!” cried the father. The bat was turned, the men pulled with all their strength, and in a mment brave Bbby was alngside, hlding up the child in his muth! Jy! Jy! Jy!
The bat was rwed back t the ship; the half-drwned (差点淹死的) by sn gt better; the parents were delighted; and brave Bbby was caressed (抚摸) by all.
At the Cape-f-Gd-Hpe, the passengers were t be landed. The fficer ging t the bat, with his wife and child; but he tld the sailrs t hld the Newfundland dg tight by the cllar till the bat was sme distance frm the ship. “Yu will then see,” said he, “what a strng swimmer he is.”
Brave Bbby pulled again and again t get lse, but all failed; fr they held him till the bat was near the shre. But as sn as the fficer gave the signal, the dg was set free, and away he went int the sea t chase after (追赶) his masters.
Suddenly the pr animal set up a shrill hwl, and threw himself ut f the water.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Just at that mment the shark, which had gt very clse t the dg, turned n his back and pened his frightening muth!
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
参考答案
1.【参考范文】
As Lexi watched, Nila’s head dipped briefly underwater befre it resurfaced. Uh-h, thught Lexi. Her sister was in truble, and she had t help. She kicked the bttm and started swimming tward Nila. Nila swallwed a muthful f water and cughed. Panicky, she felt as if she had been swimming fr hurs. If nly smene wuld see she was t tired t keep ging. Nt seeing Lexi cming t her, she scanned the edge fr the instructr. This time, Nate saw her. His eyes narrwed, and he jumped in t help her.
Just then, Nila felt smene’s arms grabbing her frm behind. “Lie back,” her sister’s vice said. “I’ve gt yu.” Much t her surprise, it was at the critical mment that Lexi came t her aid! They gt ut f water quickly. “Hw are yu feeling?” Lexi asked. “OK. That’s a little scary.” “Dn’t wrry,” Lexi said, “Next time we g swimming, I culd keep yu cmpany. With mre practice, yu can surely pass Level 4.” Hearing this, Nila smiled bradly, a current f warmth flding ver her, saying “Yu will be a gd lifeguard smeday because yu’re already a gd sister.”
【写作解析】本文是篇记叙文。Nila和姐姐Lexi一起去参加游泳考试,Nila考四级,Lexi考七级,Lexi如果顺利过关就可以报名参加初级救生员。Lexi顺利通过了考试,而Nila虽然竭尽全力,却仍然落后其他人,并逐渐体力不支,面临危险。姐姐Lexi发现了这个情况,立即下水游向她,最终带她游出泳池。Lexi承诺下次会陪着妹妹一起完成四级考试,Nila也认为Lexi既是她的好姐姐,也一定会是一名优秀的救生员。
1. 段落续写:
①由第一段首句内容“当Lexi观看时,Nila的头只简单地浸入水面一下就重新浮了出来。”可知,第一段可描写Nila体力不支、有危险,Lexi发现后下水救她。
②由第二段首句内容“就在那时,Nila感到有人用胳膊从后面抓住了她。”可知,第二段可描写Lexi是如何把Nila救出水面的,及获救后彼此的感受。
2.续写线索:发现危险——下水救人——Nila在水中挣扎——救出水面——彼此的感受——承诺
2. 词汇激活
情绪类
①恐慌的:panicky→scared
②极其重要的:critical→crucial/vital
行动类
③帮助:help→aid
④陪伴某人:keep sb cmpany→accmpany sb
⑤迅速地:quickly→rapidly
【典型句式】
[高分句型1] Panicky, she felt as if she had been swimming fr hurs.(运用了以as if 引导的表语从句,并运用了虚拟语气)
[高分句型2] Much t her surprise, it was at the critical mment that Lexi came t her aid!(运用了强调句)
[高分句型3] If nly smene wuld see she was t tired t keep ging. (运用了以if nly引导的条件状语从句,及省略连词that的宾语从句)
2.【参考范文】
Luckily, I felt a pat n my shulder and a gentle vice came, “Are yu lst”? “Yeeesss!” I cried. It was a lady wrking at Disney. She picked me up and carried me thrugh the crwd as she kept asking me where my parents had been standing. As I began t feel safe in the lady’s arms, I calmed dwn and thught fr a few minutes. I remembered we had been leaning against a wden fence. She carried me arund the wden fence, asking randm peple, “Is this yur child?” “N. Srry,” everyne kept saying. Yu’re srry? Lk at me. I’m lking fr my mmmy, I thught.
Finally, thrugh the crwd f peple, I recgnized a face. I was s happy. “Mmmy!” I shuted as I pinted tward her s the lady culd carry me t her. When the lady put me dwn, I ran t my mm and gave her a huge hug. I culdn’t let g f her. I didn’t want t lse her again. As I cried in my mther’s arms, my family thanked the nice lady fr everything she had dne fr me. Fr the rest f the evening and the entire next day, I was mre cncerned with making sure that my parents were within my sight at all times than I was with seeing the sights at Disneyland. I lk back at these memries and laugh at myself, but t this day, I always make sure t tell smene where I am ging befre I run ff.
【写作解析】本篇书面表达为读后续写,文章讲述了作者一次难忘的经历。作者跟家人去迪士尼游玩,没告诉家人的情况下跟着姐姐们去卫生间,结果与家人走散。作者哭着到处找家人,但是大家都沉浸在烟火表演中。就在作者无助时,有人发现了与家人走散的作者,并带着作者找到了家人。
1. 段落续写:
①由第一段首句内容“幸运的是,我感到有人拍了拍我的肩膀,一个温柔的声音传来:‘你迷路了吗?’”可知,第一段可描写有人发现作者与家人走散,并带着作者去找家人。
②由第二段首句内容“最后,在人群中,我认出了一张脸。”可知,第二段可描写作者找到了家人,家人表示感谢。
2. 续写线索:询问情况——帮助找家人——找到家人——感谢——感悟
3. 词汇激活
行为类
①镇定下来:calm dwn/cmpse neself
②跑向某人:run t sb/rush t sb
③拥抱:gave sb a hug/hug sb/embrace sb
情绪类
①高兴:happy/delighted
②感谢:thank/shw appreciatin/shw gratitude/be grateful
【典型句式】
【高分句型1】She picked me up and carried me thrugh the crwd as she kept asking me where my parents had been standing. (运用了as引导的时间状语从句和where引导的宾语从句)
【高分句型2】As I cried in my mther’s arms, my family thanked the nice lady fr everything she had dne fr me.(运用as引导的时间状语从句和省略that的限制性定语从句)
3.【参考范文】
Withut hesitatin, Andy jumped ff his bike and dived int the cl water. After hlding his breath fr as lng as he culd, Andy came up fr air and nticed the bees had gne. Dragging himself ut f the dam, he struggled up the hilly slpe and rang the drbell. Mr. Nelsn happened t be hme and seeing the tired and wet by, the wner tk him inside. After knwing what Andy had experienced, he praised the by and rang his mther.
In n time, his mther appeared in frnt f him. Seeing Andy, his mther anxiusly asked whether he was injured. Andy answered it was the dam that saved him. His mther laughed with relief and said he really needed that fishing break t help him recver. But Andy did nt hear her. He was thinking his father’s wrds “When yu are in a tight situatin, dn’t panic.” And he realized hw imprtant it was t listen t parents.
【写作解析】本文以故事的发展为线索展开,讲述了作者在上学的路上遇到蜜蜂袭击,在这种紧急状况下,作者想起了父亲的话“当你在一个紧张的情况下,不要恐慌,动动脑筋,想办法解决问题。”,最终作者成功脱险的故事。
1. 段落续写:
①由第一段首句内容“安迪毫不犹豫地跳下自行车,跳入清凉的水中。”可知,第一段可描写作者通过水坝避开了蜜蜂。
②由第二段首句内容“不一会儿,他的妈妈出现在他面前。”可知,第二段可描写母亲对作者的安慰以及作者的感悟。
2. 续写线索:找到避险地点——避险——避险成功——给母亲讲述过程——感悟
3. 词汇激活
行为类
努力:struggle/strive
表扬:praise/admiratin/cmmendatin
认识到:realize/understand/cmprehend
情绪类
焦急地:anxiusly/restlessly/uneasily
如释重负:relief/release/liberatin
【典型句式】
[高分句型1]After hlding his breath fr as lng as he culd, Andy came up fr air and nticed the bees had gne.(as lng as引导的状语从句)
[高分句型2]Seeing Andy, his mther anxiusly asked whether he was injured.(whether引导的宾语从句)
4.【参考范文】
He was abut t leave when his three friends surrunded him. “Nt nw, guys. I’m leaving. Quit it,” he begged. He thught they had cme t laugh at him again, but t his shck, they tk ff their hats, and their heads were shaved clean. “WHAT? Why did yu guys shave yur heads?” Ryder was startled. “What’s ging n?” As it turned ut, the bys saw his sign abut his mther, and they were mved by it. They felt guilty fr picking fun at him.
“Ryder, please take this as well,” he heard a parent calling him. He turned arund and saw a grup f his friends’ parents appraching him. They cntributed mre mney, and Ryder had apprximately $11,000 with him in n time. He was s mved and thanked everyne fr their heartwarming gesture. “Dn’t thank us, Ryder. We shuld thank yu fr helping us realize ur mistake. A persn is nt t be judged by appearance. Thanks fr helping us understand that even a small act f kindness can make a huge difference in smene’s life.”
【写作解析】本文以人物为线索展开。莱德看见妈妈因为支付不起化疗的费用在哭泣的时候,他随即把自己的存钱罐敲碎,取出了所有的存款给妈妈。这个举动让妈妈很感动,妈妈告诉他这些钱不够。莱德听后很伤心。看到自己的妈妈因为化疗而失去了美丽的长发,为了在情绪上能支持妈妈,莱德拿起电动剃须刀把自己的头发剃光。在学习组织的操场集市上,莱德戴着帽子,他提着两个装着一些他最喜欢的玩具、书籍和一些他回收的工艺品的袋子,打算在集市上出售。看着其他的同学相继开始出售他们的物品,莱德想到了一个用笔和纸做一个标语:帮助我的妈妈战胜癌症。在操场集市即将结束的时候,赖德成功地卖出了他的大部分物品。
1.段落续写:
①由第一段首句内容“他正要离开,这时他的三个朋友包围了他。”可知,第一段可描写三位朋友到来的原因:他们三位看到莱德的标语后为他们嘲笑莱德而感到羞愧,同时他们三人也剃光了自己的头发来作为对莱德的支持。
②由第二段首句内容““莱德,请把这个也拿走,”他听到一位家长在叫他。”可知,第二段可描写莱德转过身发现一群朋友的家长朝他走来,同时给他捐了许多钱。莱德对此很感动并感谢大家的帮忙。而大家则认为是莱德让他们意识到了他们的错误:一个人不能以貌取人。即使是一个小小的善举也能给一个人的生活带来巨大的改变。
2.续写线索:
三个朋友包围莱德——摘下帽子,展示光头——说明原因——家长喊莱德——走近莱德——捐钱——莱德感动——家长们的回应——感悟
3.词汇激活
行为类
①祈求:beg/ask fr/pray/claim/require
②嘲笑:laugh at/make fun f/deride/mck/tease
③走近:apprach/get clse t/walk twards
情绪类
①感动的:mved/tuched/bring t tears
②感谢:shwing his appreciatin/shw his gratitude/be grateful
【典型句式】
【高分句型1】
He thught they had cme t laugh at him again,...(运用了省略引导词that的宾语从句)
【高分句型2】
Thanks fr helping us understand that even a small act f kindness can make a huge difference in smene’s life.(运用了that引导的宾语从句)
5.【参考范文】
Suddenly the pr animal set up a shrill hwl, and threw himself ut f the water. “A shark ! A shark !” sunded frm the bat t the ship. Bbby swam right and left, and dived and made sharp turns, shwing his teeth, and never allwing the shark time t turn n his back, withut ding which the mnster culd bite him. Pr Bbby swam and ddged (躲闪), till he was almst tired ut.“Stp rwing,” cried the fficer t the men “and turn the bat back.”
Just at that mment the shark, which had gt very clse t the dg, turned n his back and pened his hrrid muth! Bbby was all but gne. His master, the fficer rse, pinted his gun, and fired. In a mment the water was tinged with bld: the hrrid jaws f the shark were shattered t pieces! The men then rwed t the spt where Bbby was swimming abut. The fficer pulled the dg int the bat; the child threw his little arms arund him; and the men in the bat, and the sailrs in the ship, cried ut with jy!
【写作解析】本文以人物和狗为线索展开,讲述了一只叫Bbby的纽芬兰犬跟随主人军官夫妇和他们的儿子登上一艘前往中国的船,孩子因为船的震动掉进了海里,Bbby也跳进海里,众人坐上小船去搜救,但因为天黑放弃了,这时Bbby将小主人救了出来的故事。
1.段落续写
①由第一段首句内容“突然,这只可怜的动物发出一声尖锐的嚎叫,从水里跳了出来”可知,水里应该发生了一些异样,第一段要写清楚水里发生了什么事情。
②由第二段首句内容“就在这时,那条已经离狗很近的鲨鱼转过身来,张开了可怕的嘴巴!”可知,第二段要写Bbby如何脱险的。
2.续写线索:哀嚎——发现鲨鱼——躲避危险——Bbby遇险——营救Bbby
3.词汇激活
行为类
①躲闪:ddge/evade/get ut f the way
②停下:stp/cease
③哭泣:cry/ weep/sb
情绪类
①激动:excite/thrill
②开心的:happy/delighted
【典型句式】
【高分句型1】Bbby swam right and left, and dived and made sharp turns, shwing his teeth, and never allwing the shark time t turn n his back, withut ding which the mnster culd bite him. (现在分词shwing做伴随状语和which引导的非限制性定语从句)
【高分句型2】The men then rwed t the spt where Bbby was swimming abut.(where引导的定语从句)
试题
句子表达举例
衔接手段分析
2016/10,浙江
By the time they reached the lake, Jane was s angry that she said t Tm. “I’m ging t find a better spt fr us t camp” and walked away.
照应:she/us
连接词:
2017/6,浙江
As Mac pedaled (骑行) alng alne, he thught fndly f his wife and tw yung daughters at hme. He hped t shw them this beautiful place smeday.
照应:he/them
词汇衔接:as/and
2018/6,浙江
It was s peaceful and quiet and the clrs f the brwn rcks, the deep green pine trees, and the late afternn sun mixed t create a magic scene. It lked like a beautiful wven(编织的) blanket spread ut upn the grund just fr us.
照应:it/us
连接词:and
2020/1,浙江
The huse seemed quiet as a tmb withut the by living there.
照应:there
2020,新高考I卷
“I wish yu culd see him,” she said t her wn children, Jhn, Harry, and Clara. “He is such a help t his mther. He wants very much t earn sme mney, but I dn't see what he can d.”
照应:her/his
连接词:and/but
2021/1,浙江
My excitement was shrt- I gt int a panic as I pressed firmly against the table and mved my head arund trying t find the right angle, but it was n use. "I can't get it ut!" I shuted, my vice sunding unnaturally lud in the enclsed space.
照应:my/I
连接词:as/and/but
2021年,新高考I卷
But Jeff’s hand tuched the ht burner and he gave a cry f pain. Jenna made him put his hand in cld water. Then she caught the smell f burning. Oh dear! The piece f bread in the pan had turned black as well.
照应:he/his
连接词:and/but/then/as well
逻辑关系
常见过渡词语
表示添加信息
and, als, t, besides, mrever, as well as, either…r, neither…nr…, furthermre, in additin, what is mre, nt nly…but als, wrse still
表示转折关系
but, yet, hwever, althugh, n the ther hand, therwise, while, rather, still, nevertheless,in spite f, n the cntrary, whereas, in cntrast
表示递进关系
besides, again, mrever, wrse still, abve all, certainly, furthermre, what’s mre, in additin, imprtant f all, t make matter wrse
表示因果关系
s, fr, therefre, as a result, because, wing t, due t, thanks t, therefre, since, thus, hence, n accunt f, cnsequently, as a cnsequence, it fllws that…
表示条件关系
as(s)lng as, if, unless, n cnditin that
表示解释、说明关系
actually, in fact, such as, fr example/instance, and s n, accrding t, after all, even, indeed, it is time, f curse, specifically, truly, namely, that is, that is t say, in ther wrds, t tell yu the truth, an illustratin f, t be specific, t illustrate
表示强调
Indeed, in fact, surely, certainly, truly, especially, n dubt, withut any dubt, bviusly, abve all, It is…that…
表示时间顺序关系
nw, after, after that, at first, in the beginning, t begin with, later, next, finally, sn, suddenly, befre, when, while, as, during, first…secnd…, then, in the end, afterwards, after a while, immediately, all f a sudden, at that mment, as sn as, frm nw n, frm then n, meanwhile, nt…until, eventually
表示空间顺序关系
n the right/left, in the middle/center f/back/frnt f, here, there, next t, n ne side f…n the ther side f, n the ft/tp/end
表示结论
as yu knw, as far as I knw, n the whle, in ne’s pinin, in shrt, in brief, in a wrd, in general
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