2024年高考英语课件06 读后续写：趣事型（两大核心技巧）

这是一份2024年高考英语课件06 读后续写：趣事型（两大核心技巧），共15页。

读后续写：趣事类TOC \o "1-3" \h \u  HYPERLINK \l "_Toc22444" Part1：经典例文（姐弟重逢）  PAGEREF _Toc22444 \h 1 HYPERLINK \l "_Toc22417" Part2：趣事类描写“两大核心技巧”  PAGEREF _Toc22417 \h 3 HYPERLINK \l "_Toc4122" 核心技巧1：矛盾塑造（尴尬+紧张）  PAGEREF _Toc4122 \h 3 HYPERLINK \l "_Toc23042" 核心技巧2：快乐结局塑造（感激+开心）  PAGEREF _Toc23042 \h 4 HYPERLINK \l "_Toc3375" Part3：灵活应用  PAGEREF _Toc3375 \h 4 HYPERLINK \l "_Toc16046" 例1：成功的“复仇”  PAGEREF _Toc16046 \h 4 HYPERLINK \l "_Toc4114" 例2：做家务  PAGEREF _Toc4114 \h 7 HYPERLINK \l "_Toc21875" Part 4: 高考真题再现  PAGEREF _Toc21875 \h 9 HYPERLINK \l "_Toc22297" 【真题1】2021年1月浙江卷：万圣节南瓜卡头  PAGEREF _Toc22297 \h 9 HYPERLINK \l "_Toc8571" 【真题2】2017年浙江卷：健忘而可爱的妈妈  PAGEREF _Toc8571 \h 12Part1：经典例文（姐弟重逢）阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。One day, I found a wallet on the street. The wallet contained only three dollars and a very old letter. The envelope was worn and the only thing on it was the return address. I started to open the letter, hoping to find some information. Then I saw the date-1990, and the signature-Beatrice. The letter was written several decades ago.Then I made every effort and found out that Beatrice was now working in a hospital. I showed her the letter. The second she saw the letter, she took a deep breath and said, “Young man, this letter was the last contact I ever had with Henry. He is my only brother. I loved him very much. I was only 16 at the time and my brother is two years younger than me. If you can find him, tell him I'm still looking for him,” she said and tears began to well up in her eyes. “Mother is waiting for him to come back home.”When I walked out of the building with the wallet in my hand, the guard of the building recognized the wallet, and with his help, I finally found its owner, Henry. I handed the wallet to Henry and he said, “Yes, that's mine! It must have dropped out of my pocket this afternoon.”“I read the letter in the hope of finding out who owned the wallet.” I said. The smile on his face suddenly disappeared. He asked, “You read that letter?” “Not only did I read it, but also Beatrice read.” I replied. He suddenly became excited. “Beatrice? You know where she is? How is she? Please tell me,” he begged. “She's fine. She has been looking for you.” I said softly.He grabbed my hand and said, “Sir, you know she is my only sister in this world. I've always missed her.”Henry and I took the elevator (电梯) down to Beatrice's room. I walked over to her. “Beatrice,” I said softly, pointing to Henry, who was waiting with me in the doorway. “Do you know the man?”注意：1．续写词数应为150左右；2．请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Beatrice adjusted her glasses, looked for a moment, but didn't say a word．______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________About three weeks later I got a call at my office from Beatrice．_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】Paragraph 1：Beatrice adjusted her glasses, looked for a moment, but didn't say a word．Henry said softly, almost in a whisper, “Beatrice, it’s Henry. Do you remember me? ” She said excitedly, “Henry! I don’t believe it! Henry! It's you! My Henry! ” He walked slowly towards her and they hugged. The nurse and I left with tears falling down our faces.比阿特丽斯调整了一下眼镜，看了一会儿，但一句话也没说。亨利轻声说，几乎是轻声说，“比阿特丽斯，是亨利。你还记得我了吗？她兴奋地说，“亨利！”我不相信！亨利！是你的名字！我的亨利先生！他慢慢地向她走去，他们拥抱在一起。护士和我离开了，眼泪流了下来。Paragraph 2：About three weeks later I got a call at my office from Beatrice．“Can you break away on Sunday to attend a party? Henry and Beatrice are going to have a party in the home! ” It was a beautiful party with all the people dressed up to join in the celebration. If you ever wanted to see a woman and a man acting like two teenagers, you had to see this elder sister and younger brother. It was a perfect ending for a family affection that had lasted nearly several decades.大约三周后，我接到比阿特丽斯的电话。“你星期天可以参加聚会吗？”亨利和比阿特丽斯将在家里举办一个聚会！“这是一个美丽的派对，所有人都盛装参加庆祝活动。如果你想看到一个女人和一个男人像两个青少年，你必须看到这个姐姐和弟弟。这是一个持续了近几十年的家庭感情的完美结局。【解析】本文以信封为线索展开，讲述了作者在街上发现了一个钱包，在里面发现一封破旧的信，通过努力找到信主人的姐姐，通过保安大叔找到了钱包主人，最后，姐弟重逢的故事。1.段落续写：①由第一段首句内容“比阿特丽斯扶了扶眼镜，看了一会儿，但没有说一句话。”可知，第一段可描写姐弟两人重逢的温馨场景。②由第二段首句内容“大约三周后，我在办公室接到比阿特丽斯的电话。”可知，第二段可描写作者对重逢事件的感慨。2.续写线索：发现信封——找到信封主人姐姐——找到主人——姐弟重逢——感谢——感悟3.词汇激活行为类接电话：get a call at/put sb on to/pick up the telephone/answer the phone抽出时间：break away on/take time off/spare one’s time情绪类兴奋：did excitedly/thrilled泪流满面：tears bathe/stream down/one’s cheeks【点睛】[高分句型1]：The nurse and I left with tears falling down our faces.这句话运用了with的复合结构。[高分句型2]：It was a perfect ending for a family affection that had lasted nearly several decades这句话运用了that引导的定语从句。Part2：趣事类描写“两大核心技巧”核心技巧1：矛盾塑造（尴尬+紧张）So nervous was he that （他太紧张了）he dropped the electric carving knife.（2021.04 台州高三调考）I got into a panic（ 陷入惊慌之中）as I pressed firmly against the table and moved my head around trying to find the right angle, but it was no use. （2021年1月浙江高考）3. Sweating and nearly tearing（汗流浃背，眼泪差点流下来）, I could imagine how silly and strange I was at that moment based on the continuing laughter from my parents and Jason. （2021年1月浙江高考）她立刻涨红了脸，感到尴尬几乎把她整个包围起来。Blushing scarlet instantly, she felt embarrassment almost wreathed her entirely. 核心技巧2：快乐结局塑造（感激+开心）1. 他们耸了耸肩，咧着嘴笑，这就驱散了她的一切烦恼，给了她安慰。They shrugged and grinned, which dissipated all her distress and consoled her. 谢谢。她紧紧抓住打开的袋子，充满了感激和温暖。‘Thanks.’ Clinging her hands to the bag opening, she was overwhelmed by a surge of gratitude and warmth.这两个强壮的陌生人点亮了她的一天。The two strong strangers undoubtedly lit her day up.3. We all jumped to our feet, dancing and screaming with joy（开心得欢呼雀跃）. （2021.04 台州高三调考）4. Though I was dissatisfied with my ugly gesture and stupid image, I was satisfied with the happiness and fun that I brought to others（对我带给别人的快乐和乐趣感到满意）. （2021年1月浙江高考）5. 她停了下来，心中洋溢着欢快的心情，拿出一把硬币，扭头把它们攥在他们的手里，尽管两个男人的表情都很惊讶。（2021嘉兴二模）Brimming over with bright feeling and joy, she stopped, fished out a handful coins and tuned around to squeeze them in their fists despite two men's astonished expression.Part3：灵活应用例1：成功的“复仇”阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。“I will have revenge(复仇) on him, and make him regret what he did to me,” said Philip to himself, his face red with anger. Stephen, who happened at that moment to walk past and hear him talking to himself. “Who is that you want to take revenge on?” asked Stephen. Philip looked at his friend and said, “You remember my new ball given by my father? Look! It is punctured! It was farmer Robinson’s son who did this!”Stephen asked him why young Robinson had ruined it. “I was walking and kicking my ball.” Philip replied, “By accident, when I was opposite the gate, my ball bumped over a bucket of water left in the pathway by him.”“He came up and began to yell at me. I assured him that what I had done was an accident, and that I was terribly sorry for it. I also offered to fetch another bucket of water for him. But despite all I had said, he took a nail out of his pocket and twisted it into the ball, as you see. I will make him pay for this.”“Honestly speaking,” said Stephen, “he is already punished for what he has done, because nobody likes him and he often walks around alone. He is just a lonely and miserable boy. This will be enough revenge for you.”“But the ball is my favorite gift and I enjoy playing with it so much…” murmured Philip.“Now Philip,” said Stephen, “I think you can act better than him in terms of getting revenge. I will tell you what happened to him not long ago.”“A while ago he saw a bee hovering about a flower. He caught the bee and was going to pull off its wings for fun. The bee, of course, stung him. The pain made him so angry that, like you, he decided to get revenge. He got a stick, and pressed it into the beehive (蜂巢).”“Immediately the whole swarm of bees flew out and stung him so badly that he had to spend a few days in bed.” “So you see, he was not very successful in getting revenge. What if he could act better and forgive the bee for stinging him?” asked Stephen.Paragraph 1:    “I must say,” replied Philip, “that your advice seems very good”.​_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph 2:    A few days afterward, Philip saw this young Robinson fall as he was carrying home a heavy log of wood. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2.答案：  “I must say,” replied Philip, “that your advice seems very good. So come with me please, and I will tell my father what happened to the ball, and I think he will not be angry with me.” They went, and Philip told his father what had happened. He thanked Stephen for the good advice he had given his son, and promised Philip to give him another ball exactly the same as the first.“我得说，”菲利普回答说，“你的建议似乎很好。所以请跟我来，我要告诉我父亲舞会发生了什么事，我想他不会对我生气的。他们走了，菲利普把发生的事告诉了他父亲。他感谢斯蒂芬给他儿子的好建议，并答应菲利普再给他一个和第一个完全一样的舞会。A few days afterwards, Philip saw this young Robinson fall as he was carrying home a heavy log of wood. It was too heavy for him to lift up again. Philip ran to him, and helped him to put it on his shoulder again. The boy was embarrassed to be treated so kindly when he had ruined Philip’s ball the week before! He said that he was very sorry for his behavior. Philip went home quite happy. “This,” he said,“ is the best revenge I could take, in returning good for bad.”几天后，菲利普看见这个年轻的罗宾逊带着一根沉重的木头回家时倒下了。它太重了，他不能再抬不起来了。菲利普跑到他跟前，帮他又把它放在肩上。这个男孩在一周前毁了菲利普的球，对这样友好感到很尴尬！他说他对自己的行为感到非常抱歉。菲利普很高兴地回家了。“这是，”他说，“这是我所能得到的最好的报复。”解析： 通过阅读所给文章可知,Philip因为农夫Robinson的儿子用钉子刺穿了自己新买的球而非常生气,扬言要报复他。Stephen劝他说没有人喜欢Robinson的儿子,他经常一个人走来走去。他只是一个孤独可怜的男孩。Stephen还告诉Philip,几天前Robinson的儿子被蜜蜂蛰了,就去打蜜蜂巢,结果被一大群蜜蜂蛰了,不得不在床上躺了几天的事情。续写部分分为两段,第一段开头是:“我得说,” Philip回答说,“你的建议似乎很好。”所以后文应该是讲述Philip放弃了报复的计划,告诉了父亲实情,Philip的父亲感谢Stephen给他儿子的忠告,答应Philip再给他买一个球,和第一个一模一样的。第二段开头是:几天后,Philip看到Robinson的儿子在把一根沉重的木头搬回家时摔倒了。本段应该写Philip帮助了Robinson的儿子,Robinson的儿子为自己几天前的行为道了歉,Philip高高兴兴地回了家,认为以德报怨就是最好的报复。最后还要注意所续写短文的词数应为150左右。【点睛】本文描写详略得当,使用了高级词汇和高级句子。如:be angry with;good advice;the same as;too…to…;embarrassed等高级词汇;He said that he was very sorry for his behavior.宾语从句等高级句式。例2：做家务阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。（满分25分）During lunchtime，Emma suggested going to the zoo to feed the animals and her mom agreed.“We’ll stop by the bakery and pick some bread up. Now hurry and eat and then we’ll go. It’s going to be a lovely day. Grandma is coming with us. She’ll be here any minute，”mom said.Emma ate her lunch and then ran into her room to get her shoes.The problem was that she could only find one of them. She looked under her bed, but all she could see were dirty towels and pants. She moved some of her toys out of the way，but still couldn’t find her shoe. After she’d checked everywhere in her room，she ran into the kitchen. “Mom，I can’t find my shoe.Will you wait while I look for it？”she asked.Her mom thought about how many times she’d told Emma to clean her room up. She whispered something to Emma’s grandma and then said to Emma，“You will have to stay home.Your dad and I will take Ryan to the zoo. Grandma will stay here with you.”“No！Please wait for me. I want to go to the zoo，”Emma cried. “I’m sorry, Emma. I’ve told you a dozen times to clean your room and you ignored me.You can’t find your shoe now. It’s your own fault for not doing as I asked.You will stay home.”Emma ran into her bedroom, crying. Her mom came to the door and said，“Emma，clean that room of yours before I get home. I’ve told grandma not to give you any sweets until you finish the work.” She went out to the car with Ryan and Emma’s dad and then they drove away.注意：1．所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2．应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；3．续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；4．续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。Paragraph 1：Emma sat on her bed and cried for a long time.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph 2：Emma and her grandma were sitting at the table，eating when her mom，dad，and Ryan came home.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】Emma sat on her bed and cried for a long time. And then she wiped her eyes and started to clean her room. It took her two hours to clean up the room.“I did it！”she said proudly. She even found her missing shoe. She ran into the living room.“Grandma！Come and see. I cleaned my room and found my shoe.” Grandma looked in Emma’s room. “If you had kept it this way, you wouldn’t have lost your shoe.Come and have some sweets now，”she said.艾玛坐在床上哭了很长时间。然后她擦了擦眼睛，开始打扫房间。她花了两个小时才打扫房间。“我做了！”她骄傲地说。她甚至找到了她丢失的鞋子。她跑进客厅。“奶奶！”来看看吧。我打扫了我的房间，找到了我的鞋子。奶奶看着艾玛的房间。“如果你一直这样做，你就不会丢鞋了。现在就来吃点糖果吧，”她说。Emma and her grandma were sitting at the table，eating when her mom，dad，and Ryan came home.“Well，look at Emma’s room！It’s clean，”her dad said.“How was the zoo？Did you have fun？I wish I could have gone there with you，”Emma said.“If you keep your room clean，we may go and see animals again，”her mom said. From then on，Emma tried her best to keep her room clean.艾玛和奶奶坐在桌边吃饭，妈妈、爸爸和瑞恩回家。“嗯，看看艾玛的房间！它很干净，”她爸爸说，“动物园怎么样？你玩得开心吗？我希望我能和你一起去，”艾玛说。“如果你保持房间干净，我们可以再去看动物，”她妈妈说。从那时起，艾玛就尽力保持她的房间干净。Part 4: 高考真题再现【真题1】2021年1月浙江卷：万圣节南瓜卡头：阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。Pumpkin (南瓜）carving at Halloween is a family tradition. We visit a local farm every October. In the pumpkin field, I compete with my three brothers and sister to seek out the biggest pumpkin. My dad has a rule that we have to carry our pumpkins back home, and as the eldest child I have an advantage — I carried an 85-pounder back last year.This year, it was hard to tell whether my prize or the one chosen by my 14-year-old brother, Jason, was the winner. Unfortunately we forgot to weigh them before taking out their insides, but I was determined to prove my point. All of us were hard at work at the kitchen table, with my mom filming the annual event. I’m unsure now why I thought forcing my head inside the pumpkin would settle the matter, but it seemed to make perfect sense at the time.With the pumpkin resting on the table, hole uppermost, I bent over and pressed my head against the opening. At first I got jammed just above my eyes and then, as I went on with my task, unwilling to quit, my nose briefly prevented entry. Finally I managed to put my whole head into it, like a cork (软木塞) forced into a bottle. I was able to straighten up with the huge pumpkin resting on my shoulders.My excitement was short-lived. The pumpkin was heavy. “I’m going to set it down, now,” I said, and with Jason helping to support its weight, I bent back over the table to give it somewhere to rest. It was only when I tried to remove my head that I realized getting out was going to be less straightforward than getting in. When I pulled hard, my nose got in the way. I got into a panic as I pressed firmly against the table and moved my head around trying to find the right angle, but it was no use. “I can’t get it out!” I shouted, my voice sounding unnaturally loud in the enclosed space.注意：1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2. 至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语；3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。Paragraph 1I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much longer. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph 2That video was posted the day before Halloween. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________优秀范文1It was five or six minutes though it felt much longer. The air inside the hollow vegetable was full of my anxious breath. I could hear my sister’s laughter and Jason’s muffled voice talking about cutting the giant thing open. “No! Not my precious pumpkin!” I protested. Eventually, Dad helped me adjust my body to a more relaxed position, and pulled the pumpkin gently off my head. Hair in knots, nose and chain covered in pumpkin flesh, I let out a sigh of relief. That’s when I realized the camera had been rolling the whole time!The video was posted online the Monday before Halloween.I looked just like a pumpkin head in it. Embarrassed and a little annoyed, I fled to my room, but Mom stopped me. “You haven’t read the comments yet.” I scrolled down the screen and marveled at the stories the viewers shared about Halloween. One girl recalled celebrating it with her brothers and sisters, and thanked us for “bringing her home”. The words brought warmth to my heart and tears to my eyes. I felt lucky to be a part of this mischievous yet loving family. (171 words)出彩表达积累（出自原文及范文）1.hollow adj. 中空的；空心的2.muffled adj.沉闷的；模糊不清的3.sigh n.叹气；叹息4.marvel v.感到惊奇；大为赞叹5.mischievous adj.顽皮的；捣蛋的6.scroll down  向下滚动7.Eventually, Dad helped me adjust my body to a more relaxed position, and pulled the pumpkin gently off my head.最后，爸爸帮我把身体调整到一个比较放松的姿势，轻轻地把南瓜从我头上扯下来。（对动作的生动描写）8.The words brought warmth to my heart and tears to my eyes.这些话温暖了我的心，使我热泪盈眶。（对神态的生动描写）优秀范文2It was five or six minutes though it felt much longer.Jason suggested using a knife to cut the pumpkin open. I waved my hands wildly in protest at the plan. “Then you need to find a way of pulling yourself out.” My dad said in a calm, cool voice. His voice settled my nerves. I was conscious that my nose was acting as an impediment to my escape. With stretching out my face and biting into the pumpkin, I surmounted the large obstacle and managed to pull my head out. A ripple of excitement ran through us but the first thing I saw was the camera.The video was posted online the Monday before Halloween. In the space of a week, it had been viewed over a million times. It filled Mom with greater astonishment. Rarely had a pumpkin’s video had so many hits as this one. Dangerous as it is, some viewers’ curiosity was too strong to resist. They left messages describing the feelings they had while watching it. Some laughed at me, while others praised my parents, who remained calm throughout. Looking through these reviews, the sunlight peeking through our , Dad’s calm smile reflected his motto “All’s well with us, never fear”. (186 words)出彩表达积累（出自原文及范文）1. nerve n.神经质；神经紧张2. conscious adj.意识到；注意到3. impediment n.妨碍；阻碍；障碍4. surmount v.克服；解决5. obstacle n.障碍；阻碍；绊脚石6. ripple n.波纹；细浪；涟漪7. His voice settled my nerves.   他的声音使我安定下来。（无灵主语）8. It filled Mom with greater astonishment.这使母亲尤为惊讶。（对情绪的生动描写）【真题2】2017年浙江卷：健忘而可爱的妈妈阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。A vacation with my mother    I had an interesting childhood: It was filled with surprise and amusements, all because of my mother-loving, sweet, and yet absent-minded and forgetful. One strange family trip we took when I was eleven tells a lot about her.   My two sets of grandparents lived in Colorado and North Dakota, and my parents decided to spend a few weeks driving to those states and seeing all the sights along the way. As the first day of our trip approached, David, my eight-year-old brother, and I unwillingly said good-bye to all of our friends. Who knew if we’d ever see them again? Finally, the moment of our departure arrived, and we loaded suitcases, books, games, camping equipment, and a tent into the car and bravely drove off. We bravely drove off again two hours later after we’d returned home to get the purse and traveler’s checks Mom had forgotten.   David and I were always a little nervous when using gas station bathrooms if Mom was driving while Dadslept:” You stand outside the door and play lookout while I go, and I’ll stand outside the door and play lookout while you go.” I had terrible pictures in my mind: “Honey, where are the kids?” “What?! Oh, Gosh… I thought they were being awfully quiet.” We were never actually left behind in a strange city, but we weren’t about to take any chances.On the fourth or fifth night, we had trouble finding a hotel with a vacancy. After driving in vain for some time, Mom suddenly got a great idea: Why didn’t we find a house with a likely-looking backyard and ask if we could set up tent there? David and I became nervous. To our great relief, Dad turned down the idea. Mom never could understand our objections.If a strange family showed up on her front doorsteps, Mom would have been delighted. She thinks everyone in the world as as nice as she is. We finally found a vacancy in the next town. 注意：1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2. 应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；3. 续写部分分为两段，每段开头语已为你写好；4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。Paragraph 1 The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph 2 We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________优秀范文The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us.But then we were half an hour away from the hotel, where the tentwas left behind. Dad recommended buying a new one, while Mom insisted on our going back to fetch it, saying "Forgetful people like me may lose things repeatedly, so it's unwise to give up the tent." Finally, we got back the tent and hit the road again. If Mom hadn't been that absent-minded, it would have saved us the trouble of going back again and again.We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way. One day, towards evening, we found a great campingsite at the foot of a high mountain. Davidand I helped Dad put up the tent, and Mom was busy preparing supper. When the setting sun cast an orange light over the mountains, the tent was set up and the meal was ready. Sitting around the camp fire, we talked and laughed. Every time we mentioned the funny incidents of the journey a pleasant smile would spread over Mom's face.解析文章中文大意：我的母亲很健忘（absent-minded and forgetful），一家四口去祖父母在的省自驾旅游，途中发生了有趣的事情，比如爸爸叫我盯住妈妈，以防她开车的时候睡着：第一段开头句：我们拿出来新买的帐篷第二段开头句：我们愉快地欣赏路边的景色关键词： mom dad  David （弟弟）, tent, camping, nice, trouble, forgetful, absent-minded实战解析首先，根据文章当中第二段内容比较开心的基调，第一段的故事情节应该比较偏向正面感情色彩，例如：我们在露营过程中一起搭建帐篷的开心时光或露营过程中的趣事（尤其是前文有铺垫妈妈是个forgetful的人，这一点也可以埋下伏笔来表达后面过程中由于妈妈健忘而带来的趣事）（也有同学在此处描述了露营过程中对其他陌生人提供帮助，来集中体现nice这一个点）；其次，第二段开头说来描述欣赏风景： 此处可以用一些描述景色环境的表达来烘托下氛围，但是第二段不能仅仅只有景色描述； 例如：这里可以实写和虚写结合的方式，看到景色（同时回忆往事），最终把故事的落脚点放在 "家人的感情" "亲情" "生活的乐趣" "与妈妈一起的趣事" 等等角度都可以的；当然也有同学描述与陌生人的相遇，引出了陌生人的善意这个主题；总之这次的话题比较开放，情节可以写的角度比较多；再次，除了情节方面的内容以外，以下几个方面是考生需要着重关注的得分点：字迹清晰程度，语法多样性和句式丰富性，衔接成分的使用，语言的场景恰当程度；高考英语写作中，考生所采用的句型结构一定程度上影响了老师对考生写作水平的判断；说到语法丰富性方面，例如在作文中用到从句结构、强调句、非谓语结构等。尤其应该注意的是：避免句型单一化，如通篇使用定语从句，这样反而使阅卷老师觉得该考生对句型掌握的不够充分。应该在文章写作中有意识地多使用不同的句型结构。例如：They said it was such a beautiful day that they would remember it forever.（such… that结构）。  由于阅卷老师在评卷时的时间十分有限，在作文中放入显耀的连接词可以帮助老师快速抓住文章结构，促使老师更好地理解文章主旨，同时清晰的连接词可以显示作者写作时严谨的逻辑。例如：upon one's arrival, then, however, besides, while等。