2025届高三英语一轮复习读后续写指导课件
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这是一份2025届高三英语一轮复习读后续写指导课件,共45页。PPT课件主要包含了批改本班学生作文,练一练,范 文 欣 赏等内容,欢迎下载使用。
阅读以下材料,完成写作任务
1 Jatin and his yunger sister,Neha, lived with their parents in a pr neighbrhd.Their mther was very sick and their father was struggling t find a jb, and they had nly a little mney with which t buy fd. As they had nt paid the rent fr several mnths,the landlrd was breathing dwn their necks(盯着他们).
2 One day, Jatin tk Neha's shes t a she repairman t be fixed. but he lst them n the way hme. It wasn't until he gt hme that he realized he had lst the shes. He was afraid that his parents wuld be angry and disappinted,s he begged his sister t keep it secret. Neha agreed and the tw decided t share Jatin's running shes. Neha's schl hurs were in the mrning,s she wuld wear them first. After schl,she wuld rush back and give them t Jatin. He culd then run t his schl,which began in the afternn. Althugh he ran as fast as he culd, Jatin ften arrived late and was warned y the schl.
3. A lng distance race was ging t be held fr bys in the city. When Jatin learned that the third prize was a new pair f shes, he decided t take part. He ran hme excitedly and prmised his sister that he wuld win her the new shes.
4. The day f the race arrived. Jatin had a strng start,but halfway thrugh the race he began t get tired and his legs began t ache. Getting mre and mre exhausted(筋疲力尽),he thught nly f Neha and his prmise t her. Dreaming f the new shes he wuld win fr his sister gave him strength,and he stayed right behind the tw fastest runners,determined t finish third. Suddenly,as the finish line drew near, anther runner cllided(碰撞)with Jatin frm behind and Jatin crashed t the grund.
续写两段开头:Jatin lked up and saw the ther bys rushing ahead. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________Filled with pleasure,Jatin walked hme quickly.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
世界著名认知科学家哈佛大学心理系教授斯蒂芬·平克曾说过:“写作之难,在于把网状的思考,用树状结构,体现在线性展开的语句里。”本次续写虽有进步,但也暴露出些许问题。 续写要读写并重;续写不是另起炉灶; 续写要注意句子数量的分配。现从以下几方面梳理:一、逻辑问题 续写逻辑可以说是个多视角逻辑,囊括了1、原文的逻辑衔接;2、段首句的逻辑衔接; 3、续写内容之间的逻辑衔接二、结尾问题 我们可以把结尾粗略分成三结尾: 1、哲理性结尾 ;2、自然而然的结尾; 3、聚焦景色结尾
三、选词方面 ----用词方面必须注意几个问题:1、你的语句可读性强吗?2、语句用词是易懂的还是晦涩的?3、要学会名词形式的活用或者说能否找到一个足够强大的动词,让 动词独立起作用,从而省略掉副词。4、用具体代替抽象(Verbs drives sentences whereas nuns slw them dwn) 例如: bridge ---连接,沟通The parents are trying t bridge the generatin with their children.
fld---充满My e-mail bx is flded with junk mail. father-- 为人父(t beget a child)He has fathered tw children befre his remarriage. summer---去某地度假we have summered. friend--交朋友,加为好友May I friend yu ?类似的用法还有很多,如:cup,bss,bx ,brief ,pride,carpet,cap,picture,brave,ship等
原 文 信 息 知 多 少?
race fr third prize,but...
disqualify the award
gt the third
Backgrund infrmatin 1---穷1. 住在贫民区,母亲生病,父亲没有工作;2. 有很少的钱,不够支付房租,只够买食物;3. 从以上两点,我们可以判断,他们不是一般的穷,根本没有能力再拿钱去做别的事情。所以有些同学续写的第二段,说父母还帮买鞋子的事,绝对是瞎扯淡,不符合原文逻辑!
2 One day, Jatin tk Neha's shes t a she repairman t be fixed. but he lst them n the way hme. It wasn't until he gt hme that he realized he had lst the shes. He was afraid that his parents wuld be angry and disappinted,s he begged his sister t keep it secret. Neha agreed and the tw decided t share Jatin's running shes. Neha's schl hurs were in the mrning,s she wuld wear them first. After schl,she wuld rush back and give them t Jatin. He culd then run t his schl,which began in the afternn. Althugh he ran as fast as he culd, Jatin ften arrived late and was warned by the schl.
Backgrund infrmatin 2---祸不单行,也是加深了下一段想参加比赛的迫切需要
Backgrund infrmatin 3——妹妹知情,哥哥要去比赛1.前文提到哥哥把妹妹的鞋子弄丢了。为了获得鞋子,哥哥肯定是要参加比赛的。2.哥哥向妹妹承诺,一定要赢得这双鞋子。所以妹妹是知情的。所以,有些同学后边续写妹妹问哥哥这双新鞋子是哪里来的,也是完全不符合原文逻辑的。
Backgrund infrmatin 4——第三名化为泡影
Backgrund infrmatin 4——第三名化为泡影?1.从tired和ache以及碰撞摔倒可知有伏笔,Jatin是不可能一开始就如愿以偿,获得第三名的。大部分同学第一段续写,几乎都写Jatin忍着疼痛冲刺,终于获得第三名,显然,不符合本段内容隐含的逻辑(如果能自圆其说,也可以接受,但分不高)2.正因为他被撞倒了,才有了故事的转折点。这需要我们明白一件事:我们都应该树立正确的三观,要相信比赛的公平公正。对方撞人,肯定属于违规行为,被取消获奖资格,第三名自然落到Jatin身上。当然这也是Jatin万万没有想到的,所以他也算因祸得福,运气不错。3.有些同学第一段续写提到,那个撞倒Jatin的选手,跟他道歉,并愿意把第三名让给他,也把鞋子给他。请问:比赛这么随意吗?对方撞倒你就是想超越你,他会主动给你?另外,获奖要光明正大,这种名不正言不顺的行为,你会接受吗?
S1: Jatin lked up and saw the ther bys rushing ahead. He felt t miserable and drwsy. The judge came t Jatin and asked, "hw are yu?" Can I help yu? Jatin smiled and shk his head. He std up with all his strength. With their encuragement,Justin ran t the end. He wn the fifth place.Filled with pleasure, Jatin walked hme quickly. Jatin said t his sister: he brke his prmise.He was abut t talk abut the experience f the race when judges and jurnalists entered. They said Jatin wn the third place because the by bumping int him brke the rules. He felt excited at the gd news. But the by didn't even aplgize fr what he did. In the end, he wn a new pair f shes.
下划线句子显示此学生的段落续接存在逻辑问题。S1明显在第一段结尾和第二段开头段落链接时出现问题:Jatin 得了第五名,没有赢得心心念的鞋子,他怎么会高兴呢?和第二段开头Filled with pleasure, Jatin walked hme quickly有断点,没有起到承上启下的过渡作用。另外,第二段才提到Jatin获得第三名,不符合故事发展的顺序逻辑了。
S2 :Jatin lked up and saw the ther bys rushing ahead. He was surprised and scared, but he didn't think s much. He nly thught abut Neha and his prmise t her. He std up sn and caught up with the by in frnt f him. Dad encuraged him t run frward again and be full f energy. Everyne praised him and cheered him n. He is very cute. And he is getting clser and clser t third place. He shwed his yuthful perseverance. Luckily he made it. The sun illuminated his bright smile.
S3:Justin lked up and saw the ther bys rushing ahead.In the meanwhile, he was filled with despair.When he thught f his prmise t his sister, he ignred the pain in his leg. He std up quickly and ran desperately.Unfrtunately, he failed t get t third place and he cried sadly.Unexpectedly,the referee gave him the new pair f shes because f his will f irn .All smiled happily.
段落是一个语义链,段内的句子是其中的一节链,一节必须扣住一节,才能形成连贯。每一个句子都要包含一些和上一句相似或有关的东西,才能借此扣住连接起来。由此段落衔接可从以下几个点进行缜密的织网构思与梳理:1、段与段之间的衔接依靠上一段最后一句和下一段第一句的意思上 的关联;2、段与段之间的衔接依靠各段中主题句思想的关联;3、段与段之间的衔接依靠全文中心思想来串联;4、段与段之间的衔接靠过渡段的承接或转折。 这种过渡段主要用于一个意思和另一个意思的转折。
一、逻辑问题 续写逻辑可以说是个多视角逻辑,囊括了1、原文的逻辑衔接;2、段首句的逻辑衔接; 3、续写内容之间的逻辑衔接二、结尾问题 我们可以把结尾粗略分成三结尾: 1、哲理性结尾 ; 2、自然而然的结尾; 3、聚焦景色结尾。
Filled with pleasure,Justin walked hme quickly.At this mment, he was hlding the new shes in his arms and cnstantly tuching his hands, he had frgtten the pain caused by the injury. When he gt hme, his sister was shcked when he saw the injury and quickly fund the medicine kit t treat. In the face f the pain , Neha cried and was mved by her brther’s actins. She hugged Jatin and didn’t calm dwn fr a lng time.
S3的结尾属自然结尾:即顺着所需知识的自然发展,以它的必然结果做结尾,没有套话。回扣这个学生的续写,无论语篇,句式亦或是词语使用上并没有特别加分点,那么最好不使用自然结尾。美联社国际写作指导布鲁斯·德席尔瓦说:”结尾是你把小说的主旨钉在读者的记忆中并回想数天的最后一次机会。”当你努力向读者描绘你的故事从何而来,也该用同样的力量告诉他们故事将去往何处。用一个精彩的结尾把故事钉在读者脑海,就像往平静的水面扔下一个石子。涟漪所至,就是故事的魅力所在。如果以哲理性结尾,明显续写故事就在末端和读者有了情感上的链接。哲理性结尾:用凝练客观的语言表述,提升内化文章中心思想,它即能够使续写故事具有思想含量又能够馈赠读者一份精神财富。
阅读下面4种结尾并仔细体会:1) Althugh there are unpredictable ups and dwns in life, the lve between siblings is by far the mst permanent and priceless, which helps them brave everything.2 )Life is nt easy fr them. Yet they are brn with lve and tenacity, by which they wuld always be blessed by Gd.
3) Neha is n lnger afraid f any fear r pain,fr the lve frm his brther is as warm as a spiritual shelter,giving her sufficient energy t brave everything whether it is gd r bad.4 )Apparently there is a tight and warm bnd between Jatin and Neha. N matter what difficulty they will be faced with,their tittle ship is bund t get thrugh it and t head t the bank.
1.Jatin lked up and he saw the ther bys rushing ahead. Refusing t give up at this crucial pint , Jatin clenched his teeth , jumped t his feet and ran as fast as he culd . Finally , he was the furth ne t dash acrss the finish line. Jatin culdn ' t help sbbing at the thught f letting his sister dwn . But much t his surprise , the runner wh cllided with him was disqualified fr breaking the rule and Jatin wn the third prize. Jatin felt verjyed and relieved during the award ceremny , hlding the shes clse t his chest .
2. Filled with pleasure, Jatin walked hme in n time. He culd nt wait t see his sister and share the gd news. On his arrival , Jatin fund Neha was walking abut utside nervusly and anxiusly." Neha , see what I have gt fr yu ," Jatin said excitedly , taking the prize ut f his bag with his trembling hands. The instant Neha saw the shes , her face lit up. S thrilled was she that she threw herself at Jatin ," Thank yu ! Jatin ." Tears f jy welled up in their eyes as the brther and the sister hugged tightly tgether.
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