专题16 画面感塑造技巧 讲义+练习

这是一份专题16 画面感塑造技巧 讲义+练习，共9页。

感受一下下面的例子，是不是现场感十足。例如，The children were screaming excitedly in the classrm. 孩子们在教室里兴奋地喊叫着。The kid hwled his dissatisfactin. 孩子不满地怒吼着。“I’m delighted that I was able t bring my grandma the happy experience.”she shared. 她倾诉到，“我很高兴能祖母带来了愉快的经历。”
再来说一说“看”，你是不是只能想到lk at, see, 看也分不同的看呀，glare at怒目而视，stare at，gaze at凝视，盯着看 peep at偷窥 glance at浏览，瞥一眼。体会一下不同的“看”带给你的不同感受，例如，The wlf didn’t mve, glaring at me silently.狼没有动，只是默默地怒视着我。He tipted t the dr, and peeped at what was happening in the rm.他蹑手蹑脚地走到门口，偷看屋里正在发生什么事。
你会用不同的方式表达“笑”吗？laugh大笑，出声的笑, smile微笑，是最常用的词汇，看看下面句子中都是怎么笑的吧！Receiving the beautiful gift, the little girl was beaming with pleasure.收到精美的礼物，小女孩眉开眼笑。看到小女孩脸上的笑容了吗？The whle class giggled at the funny jke tld by Tm. 全班同学都被汤姆讲的笑话逗得咯咯地笑起来。听到同学们欢快的笑声了吧！是不是非常得生动呢？
哭也有不同声音和不同情感的哭奥！不能单纯的使用cry来表示哭了，cry表示大声且流泪的哭，看看下面的例句感受一下不同的哭，Walking int the rm t see him lking s sick, I culdn’t help weeping.走进房间看到他病恹恹的样子，我禁不住哭了起来。weep往往表示因伤心而小声流泪的哭泣。My sn suddenly chked with sbs, his tears rushing vilently frm his eyes.我的儿子突然哽咽起来，泪水夺眶而出。
掌握了丰富巧妙的动词，还必须借助好用的高级句式表达出来，才能更好地达到生动有趣，画面感强的效果，下一次咱就讲一讲怎样借助高级句式进行细节描写。
关于“走”的表达
tipte（踮着脚走）
表示小心翼翼、蹑手蹑脚地走。
In rder nt t be heard by his mther, Tm tipted int his wn rm.
（为了不让妈妈听到，Tm踮着脚走进了自己的房间。）
感受：传达出谨慎和小心翼翼的情绪。
slip（溜）
表示偷偷地、悄无声息地离开。
After his mther fell asleep, he slipped ut by the back dr.
（妈妈睡着以后，他从后门溜了出去。）
感受：传达出偷偷摸摸的感觉。
dash（冲） 和 rush（奔）
表示快速、急切地移动。
Hearing the news, she dashed ut f the huse.
（听到消息后，她冲出了房子。）
感受：传达出人物的急切或紧张情绪。
inch（缓慢地走）
表示动作非常缓慢，一步一挪。
The ld man inched his way up the steep hill.
（老人缓慢地爬上了陡峭的山坡。）
感受：传达出动作的艰难和缓慢。
关于“说”的表达
hwl（因疼痛、愤怒或开心而大声叫喊）
The kid hwled his dissatisfactin.
（孩子不满地怒吼着。）
感受：传达出强烈的情绪。
rar（咆哮） 和 yell（吼叫）
The cach rared at the players t encurage them.
（教练大声咆哮着鼓励球员们。）
感受：传达出声音的强烈和场景的紧张。
scream（尖叫） 和 shut（大声喊叫）
She screamed in terrr when she saw the spider.
（她看到蜘蛛时尖叫起来。）
感受：传达出声音的高亢和情绪的紧张。
murmur（轻声说） 和 whisper（耳语）
They whispered t each ther in the dark.
（他们在黑暗中低声耳语。）
感受：传达出场景的安静和神秘。
add（补充说）、cntinue（接着说） 和 share（倾诉）
"I’m delighted that I was able t bring my grandma the happy experience," she shared.
（她倾诉道：“我很高兴能给祖母带来愉快的经历。”）
感受：增加场景的真实感。
关于“看”的表达
glare at（怒目而视）
The wlf didn’t mve, glaring at me silently.
（狼没有动，只是默默地怒视着我。）
感受：传达出强烈的敌意和紧张的氛围。
stare at（盯着看） 和 gaze at（凝视）
He gazed at the stars in wnder.
（他凝视着星星，充满好奇。）
感受：传达出专注和情感的投入。
peep at（偷窥）
He tipted t the dr and peeped at what was happening in the rm.
（他蹑手蹑脚地走到门口，偷看屋里正在发生的事。）
感受：传达出偷偷摸摸的氛围。
glance at（浏览，瞥一眼）
She glanced at her watch and hurried away.
（她看了一眼手表，匆忙离开了。）
感受：传达出动作的快速和短暂。
关于“笑”的表达
laugh（大笑，出声的笑）
The whle class laughed at the funny jke tld by Tm.
（全班同学都被汤姆讲的笑话逗得大笑起来。）
感受：传达出欢快的氛围。
smile（微笑）
Receiving the beautiful gift, the little girl was beaming with pleasure.
（收到精美的礼物，小女孩眉开眼笑。）
感受：传达出温暖和满足的情感。
giggle（咯咯地笑）
The girls giggled as they shared a secret.
（女孩们分享秘密时咯咯地笑起来。）
感受：传达出轻松和亲密的氛围。
关于“哭”的表达
cry（大声且流泪的哭）
Walking int the rm t see him lking s sick, I culdn’t help crying.
（走进房间看到他病恹恹的样子，我禁不住哭了起来。）
感受：传达出强烈的情感。
weep（因伤心而小声流泪的哭）
She wept quietly in the crner.
（她静静地在角落里哭泣。）
感受：传达出内敛的悲伤。
chke with sbs（哽咽）
My sn suddenly chked with sbs, his tears rushing vilently frm his eyes.
（我的儿子突然哽咽起来，泪水夺眶而出。）
感受：传达出强烈的情绪爆发。
总结
通过丰富多样的动词和细腻的描写，我们可以让故事更加生动有趣，让读者仿佛置身于场景之中。然而，仅仅积累词汇是不够的，还需要借助高级句式来表达细节，才能达到更好的效果。下次，我们将探讨如何通过高级句式进行细节描写，让故事更具画面感和感染力。
综合演练：
In 1945, a 12-year-ld by saw a beautiful brch （胸针）in a shp windw that set his heart racing. But the price—five dllars—was t high fr Reuben Earle. Five dllars wuld buy almst a week's fd fr his family.
Reuben culdn’t ask his father fr the mney. Everything his father made thrugh fishing went t his mther, Dra. Slim and beautiful, she was the center f the hme and the glue that held it tgether. The husewrk was never-ending, and she struggled t feed and clthe their five children, but she was happy as her family and their well-being were all she cared abut.
Nevertheless, he pened the shp's dr and went inside. Standing prudly and straight in his flur-sack （面粉袋改做的）shirt and washed-ut trusers, he tld the shpkeeper what he wanted, adding, “But I dn't have the mney right nw. Can yu please hld it fr me fr sme time?”
"I'll try,” the shpkeeper smiled. "Peple arund here dn't usually have that kind f mney t spend n things. It shuld keep fr a while."
Reuben respectfully tuched his wrn cap and walked ut. He wuld raise the mney and nt tell anybdy, fr he thught Mum wuld get surprised when she saw that brch. On hearing the sund f hammering （捶打）frm a side street, Reuben suddenly had an idea that he culd raise mney by selling the used nail bags. Peple built their wn hmes in Bay Rberts, using nails bught in bags frm a lcal factry. Smetimes the used bags were thrwn away at the cnstructin site, and Reuben knew he culd sell them back t the factry fr five cents a piece. That day he sld tw nail bags and hid the mney in a rusty sda tin.
注意：1,续写词数应为150左右；
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1:
Every day after schl, Reuben started his plan.
.

Paragraph2:
Finally, the time came!
_______________________________________________________________________________.
单句训练
每天放学后，鲁本都开始了他的计划。

又冷又饿，鲁本四处闲逛，小心地从一条街到另一条街寻找指甲袋。

为了节省更多的钱，这个下定决心的男孩甚至决定在一大早就送文件。

他赢的每枚硬币都去了苏打罐，他珍贵的“银行”，然后所有的疲倦都神奇地消失了

每次他经过商店橱窗里的胸针时，都会提醒他，他做了什么是值得的。

一天比一天地，他的苏打水锡变得越来越重了。

六个星期过去了，他才知道。然后走到了平安夜。

终于，时间到了！鲁本偷偷走进他的房间，小心翼翼地拿出苏打罐，把所有的硬币都倒出来，开始数。

5美元二十美分！他第二次数了一遍，毫无差错。

他的努力工作最终得到了回报！

鲁本紧紧地拿着苏打锡，立刻冲进了商店。

朵拉戴着漂亮的胸针，知道背后的故事，欣喜若狂，一句话也说出来。

她只是伸出双臂紧紧地搂住了她心爱的儿子。

“圣诞快乐，妈妈，”儿子骄傲地宣布。“你自己也是如此。”

骄傲的母亲也着。嗯，没有梦想是无法不到的。

参考答案
情节分析：本文主要讲述了一个小故事：12岁男孩Reuben想为自己的母亲买一枚胸针，可 手头没有足够的钱，他找到店主，店主答应为他保留一段时间，而Reuben开始捡钉子来筹 钱购买胸针。
续写部分分为两段，第一段开头是：每天放学后，Reuben就开始他的计划。 本段开头提到Reuben已经开始进行筹钱计划，后文可以讲述他的筹钱过程以及最终结果， 可以具体描写一下筹钱过程中Reuben付出的努力。
第二段开头是：终于，是时候了！本段 开头暗示Reuben己经筹到了足够的钱，后文就可以描写他买下胸针的激动心情以及将胸针 送给母亲Dra的过程。另外，母亲收到胸针后开心、感动的反应也可以是描写的重点. 文章的主人公无疑是小男孩Reuben,但次要人物Dra是不能忽略的，需要通过妈妈来衬托 儿子。那么看看文章对妈妈的描述：
Slim and beautiful, she was the center f the hme and the glue that held it tgether. The husewrk was never-ending, and she struggled t feed and clthe their five children, but she was happy as her family and their well-being were all she cared abut.
如果结尾只是说妈妈很开心，就非常遗憾了，还必须和这个描写照应：对生活的乐观 和对孩子的热爱。
妈妈的开心：Wearing the beautiful brch and knwing the stry behind it, Dra was t verjyed t utter a wrd.
妈妈的疼爱：She just threw her arms tightly arund her belved sn.
对话： “Merry Christmas, mm"， the sn annunced prudly. "Yu t." the prud mther eched.
主题升华：Well, n dream is ut f reach fr a willing heart.
单句训练
Every day after schl, Reuben started his plan.
Cld and hungry, Reuben wandered arund, searching fr nail bags carefully frm ne street t anther.
T save mre mney, the determined by even decided t deliver papers n the early mrning.
Every cin he wn went t a sda tin, his treasured “bank"， and then all the tiredness disappeared magically.
Each time he passed by the brch in the shp windw wuld remind him what he did was wrthwhile.
Day by day, his sda tin became heavier and heavier.
Six weeks passed befre he even knew it.
Then apprached the Christmas Eve.
Finally, the time came! Reuben stle int his rm and cautiusly tk ut the sda tin, pured all the cins ut and began t cunt.
Five dllars and twenty cents! He cunted it a secnd time, and n mistake.
His hard wrk eventually paid ff!
Hlding the sda tin firmly, Reuben rushed fr the shp withut a secnd's delay.
Wearing the beautiful brch and knwing the stry behind it, Dra was t verjyed t utter a wrd.
She just threw her arms tightly arund her belved sn. “Merry Christmas, mm"， the sn annunced prudly. "Yu t." the prud mther eched.
Well, n dream is ut f reach fr a willing heart.
佳作展现
Every day after schl, Reuben started his plan. Cld and hungry, Reuben wandered arund, searching fr nail bags carefully frm ne street t anther. T save mre mney, the determined by even decided t deliver papers n the early mrning. Every cin he wn went t a sda tin, his treasured “bank"， and then all the tiredness disappeared magically. Each time he passed by the brch in the shp windw wuld remind him what he did was wrthwhile. Day by day, his sda tin became heavier and heavier. Six weeks passed befre he even knew it. Then apprached the Christmas Eve.
Finally, the time came! Reuben stle int his rm and cautiusly tk ut the sda tin, pured all the cins ut and began t cunt. Five dllars and twenty cents! He cunted it a secnd time, and n mistake. His hard wrk eventually paid ff! Hlding the sda tin firmly, Reuben rushed fr the shp withut a secnd's delay. Wearing the beautiful brch and knwing the stry behind it, Dra was t verjyed t utter a wrd. She just threw her arms tightly arund her belved sn. “Merry Christmas, mm"， the sn annunced prudly. "Yu t." the prud mther eched. Well, n dream is ut f reach fr a willing heart.