专题06 读后续写情节的构思、创设与升格-备考2024年新高考英语读后续写六大招式
展开读后续写题的解题思路和以往的高考英语命题作文不同,要求考生首先要研读所给语篇,就是要理解话题的内容,并理解命题者想要通过这个语篇传递的意义和意图。这个“言外之意” 就是课标上所说的主题意义。 这就要求学生不仅要读懂字面含义,还要理清文章的脉络,明白故事的发展进程、前因后果、人物情感等。在此基础上,顺着文章的思路,根据线索,发挥想象,对其后的情节进行合理的预测。学生只有深挖文本,积极探求主题意义,才有可能使文章表达更全面;只有对主题语境和语篇的理解足够深,才能挖掘出特定主题所承载的文化信息和情感暗线,在解决问题的过程中,有机渗透情感、态度和价值观。在完成读写的过程中,树立正确的世界观、人生观和价值观。
学生在故事情境下,通过读和写的方式理解并表达(语言能力),在读写过程中对故事的发展做出正确的价值判断(思维品质),在有限的时间内积极运用和主动调适学习策略(学习能力),做符合社会主义核心价值观的 “人” 和 “事”(文化意识),充分体现了高考的核心功能 —— 落实立德树人根本任务。一篇好的读后续写具备“优质的语言,精彩的思想,严谨的逻辑”。但续写的实践过程中,大多数学生续写时出现内容缺乏构思,情节缺乏逻辑性,与原文融合度差等问题。故此,笔者长期跟踪学生,在教学中不断探索,将续写中的情节构思与创设分享如下:
一、读
“读” 的环节要做到以下5件事情:
1. Reading fr characters(确定人物个数,理清人物关系,确定谁是主角,画像人物性格)
2. Reading fr plt(了解故事梗概,厘清情节走向)
必须明白:情节与故事是有区别的,情节是有前后的逻辑关系,而故事则像叙事;主题是控制情节的幕后主帅,人物性格是情节发展的内在根据,情节和性格互为表里,人物性格是情节发展的内在根据,情节发展是人物性格的外在表现。作者可以根据自己情感倾向的需要出发,创造一系列的事情并进行整合。逐渐升级的冲突是情节发展的原动力。场面是情节时空切换的重要标记,我们可以假设故事开始为A阶段,结束为E阶段,那么中间的切割为BCD阶段,将故事切割成几个场面,并进行有意义的安排。
Plt is the way an authr creates and rganizes a chain f events in a narrative. The plt must fllw a lgical, attractive frmat that draws the reader in. Plt differs frm “stry” in that it highlights a specific and purpseful cause-and-effect relatinship between a sequence f majr events in the narrative.
情节包含以下五个部分:
Expsitin故事的开端,通常作者会在这个阶段介绍背景,或设置场景,介绍故事的人物等。
Rising actin故事的发展(上升阶段),是引出冲突或矛盾的过程。千万不要忽略在Expsitin和Rising actin的交汇点,有一个不可或缺的内容 —— Cnflict(冲突)。因为有了这个冲突或矛盾,才可能推动故事的进一步发展。
Climax故事的高潮,也是冲突最为激烈的地方,通常是最能激发读者阅读欲望的,最精彩的部分。
Falling actin故事的下降阶段,也是要逐渐扫清故事中还没有填好的“坑”,逐渐收尾。
Reslutin故事的结局,整个故事到此结束。如下图所示:
3. Find the theme(解码主题词,提炼给定材料的主题)
示例:A stranger helped me ut when my jeep had truble n the rad.
The theme can be: “Lve can be passed n” 或 “Kindness has n bundary”.
4. Predict the ending(研读首句,围绕主线,预设故事走向和结局)
对段首语进行分析、设问, 将预测的故事情节以问题的形式呈现。
示例:
P1:But ne day I met Anna in the market, my frmer classmate, wh tld me shcking news.
设问1:What is the shcking news exactly?
设问2:What is the reactin when I heard the shcking news?
设问3:…
Nte:By raising questins n yur wn, yu can prduce mre details f the develpment f the stry. When yu shape the characters, pay attentin t 3 “tin”:Actin; Reactin; Emtin.
5. List the utline(列出关键词句,连贯句群)
plt 1 --- respnse 1; plt 2 --- respnse 2……
示例1:
示例2:
二、写
(一)如何续写合理情节:
1. 两段首句定第一段
示例:
Para 1: My father said firmly, "if he desn't bite me when I try t pick him up t put him in the car, then we have a new dg"
Para 2: We tk him t the vet, wh said the dg appeared t be in gd health.
第一段内容:Finally the dg was raised.
续写第一段的内容设计既要考虑与上文的融洽衔接,同时也要考虑本段和第二段开头语的呼应和衔接,而后者是容易忽视的部分。
2. 二段首句定一段尾
示例:
Para 2: We tk him t the vet, wh said the dg appeared t be in gd health.
第一段尾句:
1). Unfrtunately, all ur effrts were in vain and he was still very thin.
2). Wrried abut his lw spirits and lack f nutritin, we decided t send him t the pet hspital.
3). Hwever, a few days later, the dg seemed t be sick, nt eating anything given t him.
3. 二段首主题定二段
第二段的内容由第二段首句与正能量结尾来确定,与文章开头遥相呼应,要“情理之中,意料之外”,传播正能量。
示例:
Para 2: We tk him t the vet, wh said the dg appeared t be in gd health.
第二段内容:The vet gave the dg medical care,and the dg became a member f the family.
4. 材料大意升华主旨
快速提炼给定材料的大意,升华主题。
示例:
Paragraph 1:Mather said firmly, "If he desn’t bite me when I try t pick him up t put him in the car then we have a new dg."
Paragraph 2:We tk him t the vert(兽医)wh said the dg appeared t be in gd health.
Main idea:My family fund a lnely hmeless dg a few weeks ag, walking alng the rad in the cuntryside and wanted t bring him hme/raise him.
The theme:
1). Animals are friends. Please respect friends and cherish the friendship.
2). We are ne family n the same planet and ur lives shuld be equal.
3). Live in harmny with animals and build a harmnius sciety.
4). We learned a lessn frm the experience that kindness and sympathy made a big difference t ur life.
续写第二段是文章的结尾,要关注与文章开头的遥相呼应,凸显主题,升华主题,弘扬真善美,传播正能量。
(二) 如何创设微情节
1. “矛盾激化”
With + 恶化的情况,sb. was n the edge f breaking dwn, ttally at a lss what t d.
随着情况的恶化,某人快要崩渍了,完全不知道该怎么办。
例1 “北极熊”【2020·浙江卷】
“当那只熊第二次试图用它巨大的爪子 (massive paws) 推倒 (tear dwn) 栅栏 (fence)时,我们几乎崩溃了,完全不知所措”。
--- With the bear trying t tear dwn the fence with his massive paws at the secnd attempt, we were n the edge f breaking dwn, ttally at a lss what t d.
2. “希望渐微”
Every pssible trick thugh/as sb. had attempted,…
尽管某人已经使出了浑身解数,…… (情况没有好转)。
例2 “海上遇险”
尽管我已经使出了浑身解数,但没有人注意到我,因为他们离我太远了。
--- Every pssible trick thugh / as I had attempted, n ne nticed me cnsidering that we were separated by a lng distance.
3. “回忆如潮”
When ...,all thse + adj.+ memries / things crwded int ne 's mind.
当……时,所有那些……的回忆都涌入了某人的脑海中。
例3 “女儿的电话”
当我看着 (gaze at) 天使般 (angel-like) 的女儿,所有那些我拒绝倾听的场景 (scene) 都涌人了我的脑海。
--- When I gazed at my angel-like daughter, all thse scenes where I had refused t listen crwded int my mind.
4. “悔不当初”
Realizing what a desperate situatin sb. was in, sb. thught t neself, “If nly I had (nt) dne ...
意识到自己身处如此绝望的境地后,某人心想,“如果我 (没有)……就好了。
例4 “荒野求生”【2016·浙江卷】
意识到她的处境是如此令人绝望,Jane 心想:“如果我没有跟 Tm 吵架(quarrel)就好了。”
--- Realizing what a desperate situatin she was in, Jane thught t herself, “If nly I had nt quarreled with Tm.
5. “解决矛盾”
例5 “荒野求生”【2016·浙江卷】
突然,Jane 看见远处 (at a distance) 有一个湖。她突然想到,湖边(lakeside) 也许是发出求救信号 (signals fr help) 的最佳地点。她毫不犹豫地以最快的速度 (at the fastest pace) 向湖边赶去 (set ut fr the lake)。
--- Suddenly, Jane caught sight f a lake at a distance. It ccurred t her that the lakeside might be perfect spt t send ut signals fr help. Withut the slightest hesitatin, she set ut fr the lake at the fastest pace.
6. “痛改前非”
例6 “妈妈罢工”
意识到这个问题后,Arthur 下定决心要有所改变。他没有像以前那样乱丢东西(litter),而是花了将近一个小时把玩具都收拾 (put sth away) 好,甚至还把袜子放进了洗衣篮(hamper)里。
--- Having realized the prblem, Arthur made up his mind that he wanted a change. Instead f littering like befre, he spent nearly an hur in putting the tys away, and even putting his scks int the hamper.
7. “真情感化”
例7 “妈妈的鼓励”
被妈妈的话打动了,Dra 感到羞愧和兴奋混杂(a mixture f)着在她的心中涌动。直到那时她才意识到,失败真的不算什么(nthing)。
--- Struck by her mm’s wrds, Dra felt a mixture f shame and excitement welling up in her heart and surging thrugh her. Only then did she realize that failure is really nthing.
8. “正向结局”
例8 “Pppy的新伙伴”【2020·浙江卷】
不久,两只可爱的小动物分享了玩具,成了好朋友,开心地在家里玩耍。爸爸妈妈相视而笑,终于放下心来(wrry relieve)。他们绝没有料到 Pppy会这么高兴。
--- Befre lng, with the tys shared, the tw lvely creatures became gd friends, playing in the huse delightedly. Wrry relieved, Mm and Dad smiled at each ther. By n means had they expected Pppy t be s happy.
9. “主题升华”
例9. 正是这段经历使孩子们认识到,困难与团结(unity)相比是微不足道(nthing)的。
It was this experience that made the children realize that difficulty is nthing cmpares with unity.
例10. 老师的话语自此一直萦绕 (ech) 在我的脑海中。即使是现在,我也不断地想起那段经历,我学到了: 语言是扇窗,让我看到更广阔的世界。
The teacher's wrds kept eching in my mind ever since. Even nw, I am cnstantly reminded f the experience, where I gt the lessn that language is a windw which allws me t see a bigger wrld.
三、升格
“叙述”的功能主要是推动情节的发展。“描写”力求通过呈现细节强调任务的性格特点。精彩的描写往往更容易提高文章的可读性,给阅卷老师留下深刻的印象。试比较:
1. She pushed the dr pen and saw her mther sitting in the rm sadly.
2. Opening the dr slwly and carefully, she caught sight f her mther, wh sat mtinlessly with her eyes staring blankly int space and tears rlling dwn her cheeks.
以上两句话描绘的是同一个场景:女儿推开房门发现母亲伤心地坐在房间里。
句1主要采用了叙述的方式,虽然交代清楚了场景和事件,语言上也没有错误,但是句子显得平淡无味,属于基本合格的句子。
而在句2中,作者具体地描写了母亲茫然地盯着前方,眼泪顺着面颊流了下来的样子,虽然没有出现sad一词,但是通过这些细节读者很容易感受到母亲当时的心情。
那么,如何升格续写作品?
一、词汇具体化
示例:
1. My mm is nice.(形容词)
--- It was filled with surprises and amusements, all because f my mther--- lving, sweet, yet absent-minded and frgetful.
2. I recmmend taking sme gifts.(名词)
--- I recmmend taking sme gifts such as fresh fruits and interesting bks.
3. Suddenly, a rabbit came ut.(动词)
--- Suddenly, a little rabbit jumped ut in frnt f my hrse.
二、句式多样化
1. 巧用“无灵主语”凸显情感、动作、营造氛围:
Anger and bitterness had seized me cntinually fr weeks and a deep exhaustin fllwed this passinate struggle.
2. 独立主格(含with复合结构)赋能生动描写:
Gerge and I std there dumbfunded watching him finishing the whle jb, gratitude and admiratin rushing in my heart.
Sptting the puppy, Pppy was enraptured, with her eyes becming mellw and affectinate.
3. 虚拟语气
We had n idea where we were and it was getting dark. I was almst n the edge f break dwn. If nly I hadn’t fllwed the rabbit int the frest!
4. 修辞手法:比喻,拟人,排比等。(略)
综合示例:
1. A frwn nailed t his face, familiar seriusness ntably cnveyed in his tne, my teammate apprached every detail with great singular aim which thrughly struck my heart, mtivating me t try desperately t prve myself.
他总是皱眉,他的语调中传达着熟悉的严肃感,我的同伴始终朝着同一个目标去处理每一个细节,这完全让我震撼,激励着我极力想要证明自己。
2. Hardly had Dr. Gullicksn infrmed me f that, a cursing current f general cncern flded int my inner wrld hence I paid him a visit. Fr the first time I sptted a sense f vulnerability n his firm face and his face culd be etched with tremendus tiredness.
格利克森博士一告诉我这一点,一股关怀的热流就涌入了我的内心世界,因此我去拜访了他。我第一次在他坚定的脸上发现了一种脆弱的感觉,疲劳刻在他的脸上。Act
Jane was afraid. Jane picked stnes and made them in the frm f SOS
Respnse
体现情感变化:Afraid --- hpeful --- Exhausted
Image
A wman, SOS
Act
The helicpter saw the SOS and they hugged each ther.
Respnse
动作:Jane ran twards Tm.
情感变化:Hpeful --- thrilled
Image
They hug each ther.
环境
心理
动作
不断恶化
即将崩溃
不知所措
动作
结果
已经使出浑身解数
情况没有好转
外界刺激
心理
当……时
唤醒……的回忆
外界刺激
心理
情况非常糟糕
如果……就好了
微情节构建
可搭配句型
环境
“救命稻草”
某人突然看到/听到/闻到……
Suddenly, sb. caught sight f heard/ smelt ...
心理
“灵光一闪”
某人突然想到……
It flashed thrugh ne’s mind that It ccurred t sb. that ...
动作
“立即行动”
某人毫不犹豫地…
Withut the slightest hesitatin, sb.
微情节构建
可搭配句型
心理
意识到了问题,下定决心要改变……
意识到了问题,某人下定决心……
Having realized the prblem, sb. made up ne's mind that ...
动作
痛改前非
某人没有……,而是……
Instead f ding ..., sb. did ...
微情节构建
可搭配句型
环境
“外界刺激”
① 当……时,某人喉咙哽住。
Sb.'s thrat tightened when ...
② 被……所触动,某人内心充满了……
Struck by ..., sb. was seized with +情绪
③ 被……所触动,某人感到一股强烈的……在内心升腾、奔涌。
Struck by.., sb. felt a great sense f+ 情绪 + welling up in sb.'s heart and surging thrugh sb..
情绪
“受到触动”
心理
“有所感悟”
Only then did sb. realize ...
微情节构建
可搭配句型
引出正向结局
没过多久,…… Befre lng,
一………就…… The mment...,...
幸运的是…… Luckily / Frtunately,..
终于,…… Finally / Eventually,..
结果…… Sth. turned ut t be / It turned ut that
正向结局之喜出望外
某人绝没有料到……会如此…
By n means / Under n circumstances had sb. expected sth. t be s + adj.
正向结局之死里逃生
尽管某人又……又……,但是某人的内心充满了……
Adj and adj. thugh sb was, sb.'s heart was filled with nthing else but...
句式①
Only then did sb. realize ..
Nt until then did sb. realize ...
如果没有这次经历,某人就不会有机会学到这样一课:……
句式②
Had it nt been fr this experience, sb. wuld nt have gt the chance tlearn the lessn that ...
正是这次经历让某人意识到/学到了……
句式③
It was this experience that made sb. realize/ learn that ...
句式④
这段故事/画面/场景/话语自此一直萦绕在某人的脑海中。即使是现在,某人也不断地想起那段经历,从中某人学到了……
The stry/picture/scene/wrds kept lingering/eching in sb.'s mind ever since. Even nw, sb. be cnstantly reminded f the experience, where sb. gt the lessn that ...
专题2 2024届高考英语读后续写:构思情节 学案(有答案): 这是一份专题2 2024届高考英语读后续写:构思情节 学案(有答案),共22页。
专题3.02 续写中的情节构思-2024年新高考英语读后续写提分技能: 这是一份专题3.02 续写中的情节构思-2024年新高考英语读后续写提分技能,共14页。试卷主要包含了02 续写中的情节构思等内容,欢迎下载使用。
专题05 “三种手法”优化续写表达-备考2024年新高考英语读后续写六大招式: 这是一份专题05 “三种手法”优化续写表达-备考2024年新高考英语读后续写六大招式,共9页。试卷主要包含了明喻 等内容,欢迎下载使用。