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    专题02 读后续写速成:“波浪式”剧情推进法

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    这是一份专题02 读后续写速成:“波浪式”剧情推进法,共17页。
    目录
    TOC \ "1-3" \h \u
    \l "_Tc19954" 第一部分 方法介绍 PAGEREF _Tc19954 2
    \l "_Tc17289" 一、情节与主题 PAGEREF _Tc17289 2
    \l "_Tc10747" 二、提示与结构 PAGEREF _Tc10747 3
    \l "_Tc21619" 三、Para.1细节 PAGEREF _Tc21619 4
    \l "_Tc24914" 四、Para.2细节 PAGEREF _Tc24914 5
    \l "_Tc25808" 五、十个关键词 PAGEREF _Tc25808 6
    \l "_Tc12084" 六、情节一览表 PAGEREF _Tc12084 7
    \l "_Tc6110" 第二部分 情节推进的2种语言模式 PAGEREF _Tc6110 7
    \l "_Tc29461" 第一种模式:解决问题模式 PAGEREF _Tc29461 7
    \l "_Tc7101" 一、遇到问题 PAGEREF _Tc7101 8
    \l "_Tc17674" 二、想到办法 PAGEREF _Tc17674 8
    \l "_Tc10439" 三、实施过程 PAGEREF _Tc10439 8
    \l "_Tc16977" 四、结果如何 PAGEREF _Tc16977 8
    \l "_Tc15458" 五、抽象道理 PAGEREF _Tc15458 9
    \l "_Tc31572" 第二种模式:纠结型模式 PAGEREF _Tc31572 9
    \l "_Tc32276" 第三部分 读后续写真题实战 PAGEREF _Tc32276 11
    \l "_Tc11884" 原题材料 PAGEREF _Tc11884 11
    \l "_Tc17331" 情节推进思路一 PAGEREF _Tc17331 12
    \l "_Tc27808" 情节推进思路二 PAGEREF _Tc27808 13
    \l "_Tc17331" 情节推进思路一 PAGEREF _Tc17331 12
    \l "_Tc27808" 情节推进思路二 PAGEREF _Tc27808 15
    提高读后续写的两个基本思路分为语言模仿与内容创造。语言要模仿,说的是语言方面的问题。我们可以通过阅读,有目的、有针对性地积累常用的佳句,最好以句子为单位进行积累,因为一个句子就是一个小情景,小画面。一个段落无非是几个小情景的组合。续写短文的词数要求在150左右,无非就是十二、三句话的事。今天不讨论语言积累的问题。
    内容要创造,可以理解为情节的扩展与安排方面的问题。续写的评分要求是:与所给短文融洽度高,与段落开头衔接合理,内容丰富,应用了5个以上短文中标出的关键词语,有效地使用了语句间连接成分,使所续写短文结构紧凑。根据评分要求不难看出读后续写重视考查情节的安排是否有效,是否合理。在这一环节中,常见的问题有:要么无话可说,要么是写了不少,但文不对题。
    为直观便于理解,本文以图解的形式来说明如何合理安排续写情节,写出内容丰富的150字。当然,也可以按图解的步骤启发学生的思维,训练学生写出紧扣原文,情节合理的续写内容。
    第一部分 方法介绍
    一、情节与主题
    从图中可以看出,记叙文情节的发展总是一波三折,这可以借鉴语文作文教学中常常提到的:文似看山不喜平。意思是写文章好比观赏山峰那样,喜欢奇势迭出,最忌平坦。英文写作亦是如此,但不管情节如何一波三折,从开头到结尾,情节的发展总是紧紧围绕一个主题(或中心)在进行的。情节必须为主题服务,与主题无关的情节就是多余的内容。所以,首先要解决读的问题。通读原文,把握原文的主题是续后的第一步,情节的发展不能摆脱贯穿始终的主题。关于主题理解,你可以提出以下一些问题:
    What des the authr want t tell us?
    What's the main idea f the passage?
    What is the stry abut?
    What is the theme revealed t yu in the stry?
    What lessn can yu learn frm the stry?
    Can yu predict hw the stry ends after reading it?
    二、提示与结构
    从图中可见,续写在行文的衔接上分续写原文、Para.1与Para.2三个部分。在阅读原文,把握主题以后,接下来要根据Para.1与Para.2开头语的提示内容以及原文最后一段的情节,确定Para.1开头与结束可能出现的情节。因为无论情节如何起伏,思维如何开放,第一段的情节发展必须推向所要求出现的结尾部分内容。你可以这样问:
    Accrding t the given sentence f Para.2, what shuld be mentined at the end f Para.1?
    What is likely t happen accrding t the last paragraph f the text and the the given sentence f Para.1?
    同样,接下来要做的是根据Para.2开头语的提示内容以及文章的主题,确定第二段开头可能出现的情节以及结尾部分内容。做好这一步骤的好处是搭建文章结构,紧扣文章主题,不至于写到那时算那里。可以引导学生思考以下问题:
    Accrding t the given sentence f Para.2, what will happen next?
    What shuld be mentined at the end f the stry?
    What might be the ending f the stry?
    D yu think ending the stry in this way satisfies readers?
    三、Para.1细节
    从图中可见,在确定Para.1开头与结束可能出现的情节以后,接下来要做的是确定组成情节发展的细节内容(details)。根据记叙文的特点,可以通过提问5W1H(wh; what; when; where; which; hw)6个方面的问题,身临其境,挑选紧扣文章主题并推动故事情节发展的细节内容,力求具体,不宽泛。前因推后果,前一句推动下一句。笼统地说,可以用以下问题打开思维,某人何时何地做了何事;怎样做;为什么这样做;出现了什么问题;看到了什么;听到了什么;说了什么;有什么感受;如何解决这一问题等等。当然,情节安排上要设立对立面,或者是冲突(cnflict),要有波折。但Para.1的情节发展最终要围绕主题指向第一段的结尾部分内容。所以,可以提出以下问题选择主要细节为我所用:
    What did he/she d?
    Why did he/she
    Hw did he/she
    What did he/she say abut?
    Hw did he/she
    四、Para.2细节
    Para.2可以用Para.1一样的方法选择主要细节内容,这里不再表述。不同之处是情节发展到Para.2时,故事一般已进入高潮阶段,最后是问题得到解决,或者是表明一种看法或者是揭示一个主题。大体上会出现这样的模式:出现问题--解决问题--再次出现问题--终于解决问题--然后深有体会与感悟。如有可能,在结尾部分最好有与原文第一段的主题句相呼应的内容,起到点题的作用。
    五、十个关键词
    上面的心形代表的是续写原文所提供的10个划线关键词,10个关键词在一定程度上确定了情节发展的一些主要因素,包括了主要人物(main character)、主要地点(place)、主要事件(event)以及主要场景(sence)等。所以,我们可以通过分析10个划线关键词预测续写部分可能出现的情节,根据需要选择关键词。这一环节可以与前一步骤结合在一起,根据需要选择重要细节。以2016年10月浙江卷读后续写其中一个划线关键词语t her great jy为例,可以这样拓展学生的思维。
    What made Jane feel s jyful?
    In which paragraph will yu use this phrase?
    What did she d then in the situatin like this?
    将划线关键词放在最后考虑,目的是遵从“先整体,后细节;先宏观,后微观”的原则。这样做能确保“细节为主题服务”的思想,能最大限度的避免文不对题且言之无物的问题。
    六、情节一览表
    一览表可以用课件的形式按步骤显现,下次如果你要对读后续写进行专题指导,可以根据该表帮助学生拓展思维,有效合理地扩展故事情节。
    第二部分 情节推进的2种语言模式
    读后续写行为推进的2种模式。那么,对于这2类文体,有无对应的语言,答案是有的。经过长期的积累。总结出如下71种表达,希望大家好好琢磨哦。
    第一种模式:解决问题模式
    一、遇到问题
    Sb is cnfrnted with a tugh issue. 某人面临一个棘手的问题。
    Sth is a tugh nut t crack 某物是个需要解决的难题。
    Sb scratches his/her head.
    Hw… is beynd sb.
    Sb is n pins and needles
    Sb has ants n the pants
    Stunned,sb is at a lss fr wrds
    Cnfrnted with the tugh nuts, the three friends were lst /sunk in thught.
    Pndering ver the matter, the three friends were lst /sunk in thught.
    Cupping their faces in hand, the three friends sank int deep thught.
    Jaw resting n his / her hand, sb sank int deep thught.
    Walking/Shuttling/Wandering/Pacing back and frth, he was debating what t d next.
    二、想到办法
    Suddenly,an idea flashed acrss /ppped int sb’s mind that
    It suddenly ccurred t /dawned n / hit / struck sb that
    An idea ccurred t / dawned n / hit/ struck sb that
    三、实施过程
    With everything in place, the three friends …
    With all the preparatin wrk under way, the three friends …
    With XXX ready and XX in hand, the three friends …
    With XXX in ne hand and XX in the ther, the three friends …
    四、结果如何
    As it turned ut/came ut,
    It turned ut that …
    Thankfully/Luckily/Frtunately,
    Unfrtunately/Unluckily,
    Sth ended up …
    Sth wund up …
    Finally/Eventually /Ultimately, …
    Sb heaved /let ut a sigh f relief
    What a relief !
    What a narrw escape
    五、抽象道理
    It is at this mment that sb realized …正是在这个时刻,某人意识到
    It is nt until … that sb …. 直到...那个人
    Sth impresses n sb that … 这让某人印象深刻
    It’s a life lessn inscribed in sb’s mind that … 这是一个生活课铭刻在某人的脑海中
    It’s an invaluable lessn I kept till this day that … 这是我一直坚持到今天
    第二种模式:纠结型模式
    一、遇到问题
    Sb is cnfrnted with a tugh issue
    Sth is a tugh nut t crack
    Sb scratches his/her head.
    Hw… is beynd sb.
    Sb is n pins and needles
    Sb has ants n the pants
    Stunned,sb is at a lss fr wrds
    Cnfrnted with the tugh nuts, the three friends were lst /sunk in thught.
    Pndering ver the matter, the three friends were lst /sunk in thught.
    Cupping their faces in hand, the three friends sank int deep thught.
    Jaw resting n his / her hand, sb sank int deep thught.
    Walking/Shuttling/Wandering/Pacing back and frth, he was debating what t d next.
    二、主人公思想斗争:正确观点与错误观点的交锋
    1. Caught in a dilemma, sb was at a lss what t d. 陷入困境,某人不知所措。
    2. Sb is trapped/caught between A and B
    3. Sb is standing at a crssrads as t … 某人正站在十字路口
    4. It seems tw little men were fighting in his head. One was … The ther was …
    5. It seems tw thughts were having a tug f war. One was… The ther was …
    三、主人公思想斗争:正确观点战胜了错误观点
    1.Finally, sb’s cnscience triumphed ver his/her evil thught 最后,某人的良心战胜了他/她的邪恶思想
    2.Finally, gd triumphed ver evil. 最后,善良战胜了邪恶。
    3.Finally, a clear cnscience triumph ver a guilty ne. 最后,一个问心无愧的人战胜了一个有罪的人。
    4.Finally, justice wn ver. 最后,正义获胜了。
    5.Finally, hnesty / integrity / fairness wn ver. 最后,诚信/诚信/公平胜出。
    四、采取了正确的行动
    1.sb decided t give sth back 某人决定把某物还回去
    2.sb decided t d the right thing. 某人决定做正确的事。
    3.Sb chse hnesty ver persnal gain. 某人选择诚实而不是个人利益。
    4.Sb chse integrity ver persnal interest. 某人选择诚信而不是个人利益。
    5.sb finally std n the side f integrity /hnesty /fairness /justice. 某人终于站在正直/诚实/公平/正义的一边。
    五、抽象道理 (同第一种模式)
    It is at this mment that sb realized …正是在这个时刻,某人意识到
    It is nt until … that sb …. 直到...那个人
    Sth impresses n sb that … 这让某人印象深刻
    It’s a life lessn inscribed in sb’s mind that … 这是一个生活课铭刻在某人的脑海中
    It’s an invaluable lessn I kept till this day that … 这是我一直坚持到今天
    读后续写真题实战
    读后续写是新高考模式的一个重要的改革,这个题型对学生的读和写提出了更高的能力要求,学生要能够基于文章的理解用自己的语言对原文进行续写,想要写出一个情节逻辑合理,对老师和学生来说无疑是一个巨大的挑战。2020年真题为例,一步一步讲解分析。
    原题材料
    阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。
    One fall, my wife Elli and I had a single gal: t phtgraph plar bears. We were staying at a research camp utside “the plar bear capital f the wrld” — the twn f Churchill in Manitba, Canada.
    Taking pictures f plar bears is amazing but als dangerus. Plar bears — like all wild animals — shuld be phtgraphed frm a safe distance. When I’m face t face with a plar bear, I like it t be thrugh a camera with a telepht lens. But smetimes, that is easier said than dne. This was ne f thse times.
    As Elli and I cked dinner, a yung male plar bear wh was playing in a nearby lake sniffed, and smelled ur garlic bread.
    The hungry bear fllwed his nse t ur camp, which was surrunded by a high wire fence. He pulled and bit the wire. He std n his back legs and pushed at the wden fence psts.
    Terrified, Elli and I tried all the bear defense actins we knew. We yelled at the bear, hit pts hard, and fired blank shtgun shells int the air. Smetimes lud nises like these will scare bears ff. Nt this plar bear thugh — he just kept trying t tear dwn the fence with his massive paws(爪子).
    I radied the camp manager fr help. He tld me a helicpter was n its way, but it wuld be 30 minutes befre it arrived. Making the best f this clse encunter(相遇), I tk sme pictures f the bear.
    Elli and I feared the fence wuldn’t last thrugh 30 mre minutes f the bear’s punishment. The camp manager suggested I use pepper spray. The spray burns the bears’ eyes, but desn’t hurt them. S I apprached ur uninvited guest slwly and, thrugh the fence, sprayed him in the face. With an angry rar(吼叫), the bear ran t the lake t wash his eyes.
    注意:
    1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;
    2. 至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语;
    3. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;
    4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
    A few minutes later, the bear headed back t ur camp.
    At that very mment, the helicpter arrived.

    情节推进思路一
    本文主要讲述了人与熊对抗,之后成功脱险的故事。主人公的感情线变化为:兴奋渴望→惊恐→放松。剧情线以主人公如何与北极熊周旋并成功摆脱它展开。
    由第一段的段首提示句可知:几分钟后,熊又回到营地。接下来可通过场景渲染,描写当时令人颤栗惊恐的画面,例如“Rars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrillness.”这不仅合理地描写了熊的反应,也描绘出让人战栗的场景。
    由第二段的段首提示句可知:此时,直升机到了。如果想要进行续写两段的合理衔接,第一段的结尾可描写成“After thrughly scrutinizing the area, the bear trtted frward a few steps.”这样可以营造出危急的场景。“我们”看到直升机的到来,感到绝处逢生的喜悦,可以以人物心理描写作为第二段的开头,重点描写喜极而泣的状态,例如“My heart leaped with jy as I knew we were likely t be saved.”
    最后,结尾部分需要迅速收束,并说明成功逃脱的结局。
    关于画线词:Elli作为女主人公,是续写内容中应该出现的画线词,nises, pictures, fence, spray与熊有关,也在两段续写内容中出现。最终,两人回归安全状态,因此画线词safe也可自然而然地出现在续写内容中。由此划分画线词,可迅速锁定需使用的画线词范围,辅助构思。
    A few minutes later, the bear headed back t ur camp. Rars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrillness. The nises turned Elli and I pale with hrrr. I feared that the giant wuld destry ur whle fence. He rared repeatedly, shattering what was left f the silence. Elli seized this pprtunity t take sme pictures f the bear. The animal’s nises eched all arund us. We betrayed ur feelings by huddling tgether, shivering with fear. After thrughly scrutinizing the area, he trtted frward a few steps.
    At that very mment, the helicpter arrived. My heart leaped with jy as I knew we were likely t be saved. Elli used pepper spray again t buy us enugh time. But this time the bear became mre alert. He regarded us with the merciless necessity f hunger, s we thrw all the fd we have. He then turned away and started devuring. As we were climbing the rpe ladder, Elli prayed like a thusand times t shw thankfulness f being safe and sund. (154词,21分)
    情节推进思路二
    由第一段的段首句可知,热爱摄影的“我”和妻子Elli处于危险之中——北极熊再次向他们靠近了,表明情况不容乐观。而第二段的首句明确了救援的直升机终于赶来,一切就此出现了转机。所以在构思时,越是将第一段写得危急,就越能与后面的转折形成鲜明对比,增加故事性。
    因此,联系前文背景,续写第一段可以先描写熊的动向和作者的心理,之后描写作者的应对举措。由前文和段首句分析可知,胡椒喷雾并未阻挡熊继续靠近,反而激怒了它。而“我”作为摄影师,看到拍摄对象不断进入自己的取景范围不禁想要立刻实现梦想去拍摄,然而求生的本能让“我”无暇他顾。后面采取的措施可以是作者急中生智,决定和妻子把面包给熊来拖延时间等待救援。而眼看着可怕的熊在不断靠近,面包也即将耗尽。至此,作者夫妇二人几乎陷入绝境。这一部分可以进行生动的描写让作者的心理刻画更为生动,例如“While it was lming like a dark clud...”。
    第二段首,直升飞机抵达,至此,可以进一步渲染危急的场景,继续描写熊的动作,例如猛击栅栏。在描写完二人获救后,结尾呼应前文,作者一路有惊无险,成功用相机拍到梦寐以求的照片,不虚此行。
    关于画线词:Elli作为女主人公,是续写内容中应该出现的画线词,除此以外,spray的提及可呼应前文,交代故事发展,phtgraph, camera可以直接呼应“我”采取的一些行动,bread是我们想到的解决方案,fence与熊相关。由此展开画线词,保证了故事的合理性。
    A few minutes later, the bear headed back t ur camp. He culd nt resist the temptatin f the bread. The pepper spray had slwed the bear but wasn’t enugh t stp the beast. On the cntrary, it prvked the bear and made him even mre furius. Much as I wanted t phtgraph the appraching bear, my survival instinct vertk my desire t capture the perfect pht. In a mment f panic, Elli and I decided t give him what he wanted — the garlic bread. While it was lming like a dark clud, we threw the bread at the bear a little bit at a time until it had run ut.
    At that very mment, the helicpter arrived. But the irritated bear has already started t whack the fence. I feared that the bear wuld tear dwn the fence at any minute. Luckily, the rangers came t ur rescue. They managed t calm the bear dwn and distract him with sme srt f acustics. Even thugh my heart was still thumping wildly inside my chest, I snatched my camera and snapped ne last sht f the bear, a pht that I had always lnged t capture. Thugh risking my life, I’ve gt the best picture ever and it’s all wrth it. (200词,22分)
    情节推进思路三
    续写两段中,故事的剧情在第一段结尾达到高潮,之后开始回落;可以推测主人公的情绪呈现出紧张→惊恐→松一口气→彻底放松的变化。
    第一段北极熊返回后,可以通过熊的新一轮进攻引出剧情,随着熊的攻击愈发猛烈,主人公需要采取新方法避险。例如,可以描写熊再次攻击栅栏,“我”如何使用随身物品应对进攻,保护自己和妻子的安全。同时也可以描写妻子的动作和情绪,烘托场面的危急。通过“我”与熊的动作交替,在第一段最后一句将人与熊的矛盾推至最大。
    第二段直升机到来后,可以描写“我”避险的动作,例如立刻调转方向跑回营地。之后利用直升机的优势解决问题,如利用螺旋桨发出的巨大声响吓退经验不足的北极熊。结尾处呼应开头,总结作者此行的目的是否达成。
    关于画线词:Elli作为女主人公,是续写内容中应该出现的画线词,除此以外,fence的描写与熊相关,“我”用camera进行攻击防身,以达到safe的目的,动作描写包含run,危机时刻直升飞机的nises保证了可以击退熊,最终提及pictures呼应此行目的。由此展开画线词,布局合理自然,符合故事逻辑。
    A few minutes later, the bear headed back t ur camp. The furry giant must have gathered his wits, fr he suddenly reared up and attacked the fence with fercius strength, leaving a narrw pening n it. Behind me, Elli muffled a cry f terrr. My eyes were fixed n the intruder. My mind raced like flash as my hands grped fr anything that might keep us safe frm the bear’s rampage. That’s when I felt the camera. With little hesitatin, I shved the equipment thrugh the pening as the plar bear clsed his jaws n the lens and then pulled my whle camera ut and smashed it.
    At that very mment, the helicpter arrived. I ran back t the camp, stumbling a hundred times in my haste. Elli cntacted the pilt ver the radi. Hearing that we had nt suffered any physical injury, the pilt tld us t stay put and cver ur ears. The harsh whshing nise f the appraching helicpter spked the yung bear. The animal tk a few hesitant steps back and eventually disappeared back twards the lake. Althugh my camera has met its glrius end, and thugh all ur pictures were lst, ur memry f this unexpected encunter remains fresh till this day. (187词,23分)
    02出彩表达积累
    单词
    sniff v. 嗅;闻 massive adj. 巨大的
    encunter n. 遭遇;邂逅 rar v. 吼叫,咆哮
    shatter v. (使)破碎,破裂 huddle v. 挤在一起,缩成一团
    scrutinize v. 仔细查看 trt v. 碎步急行
    regard v. 注意,关注 devur v. (尤指因饥饿而)狼吞虎咽地吃光
    prvke v. 激怒 furius adj. 狂怒的
    instinct n. 本能,直觉 irritate v. 使烦恼(尤指不断重复的事情)
    ranger n. 护林员 distract v. 转移(注意力)
    thump v. 怦怦地跳 snap v. 拍照
    furry adj. 覆盖着毛皮的 wits n. 机智,智慧
    fercius adj. 凶猛的 muffle v. 压抑(声音)
    intruder n. 侵入者 grpe v. 摸索
    rampage n. 暴跳如雷 shve v. 猛推
    jaw n. 颌骨 stumble v. 跌跌撞撞地走
    haste n. 急忙,仓促 harsh adj. 刺耳的
    whsh v. 发出嘶嘶声 spk v. 惊吓
    smash v. 打碎
    短语
    face t face 面对面 吓跑
    tear dwn 拆毁 pull ut 拔出
    rear up 用后腿站立
    句子It is easier said than dne. 说起来容易,做起来难。(谚语表达)
    Terrified, Elli and I tried all the bear defense actins we knew. 在惊恐万分的情况下,埃利和我尝试了我们所知道的所有应对熊的防卫措施。(过去分词做状语)
    He std n his back legs and pushed at the wden fence psts. 他用后腿站立,推着木栅栏的柱子。(动作的生动描写)
    Rars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrillness. 吼叫声和尖叫声打破寂静,尖锐刺耳,久久未消。(环境的生动描写)
    We betrayed ur feelings by huddling tgether, shivering with fear. 我们紧紧地抱在一起,害怕地直打哆嗦。(动作的生动描写)
    After thrughly scrutinizing the area, the bear trtted frward a few steps. 在仔细地观察了这片区域之后,熊向前小跑了几步。(动作的生动描写)
    While it was lming like a dark clud, we threw the bread at the bear a little bit at a time until it had run ut. 熊像噩梦般一直萦绕着我们,我们一点点地向它投着面包,直到面包也没有了。(比喻的生动描写)
    I snatched my camera and snapped ne last sht f the bear. 我抓起相机,拍下了最后一张熊的照片。(动作的生动描写)
    My mind raced like flash as my hands grped fr anything that might keep us safe frm the bear’s rampage. 我的头脑像闪电一样飞速运转着,我的双手摸索着寻找能让我们自保的东西,免遭毒手于熊的暴怒之下。(比喻的生动描写)
    I ran back t the camp, stumbling a hundred times in my haste. 我跑回了营地,匆匆忙忙,期间跌倒了无数次。(夸张的生动描写)

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